A little too late
by tmjesse
Summary: Bella gets pregnant after Edward leaves. Its 25 years later, when they both meet at Reed College, where Bella teaches. Bella is a vampire but her daughter has the power to control appearances and Bella appears human. Bella has a stronger personality and doesn't want to give Edward a chance, because she doesn't know Edwards real feeling towards her. Canon pairings,E/B,lemons later
1. Chapter 1

**Guys this is my first fanfiction so please review. This is a Edward/Bella story . There will be lemons. This was a taster and I will be updating every Monday.**

**All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer, I am just playing around with them .**

**Enjoy ;)**

**Mood music is – Breathing (Jason Derulo), Hanging On (Ellie Goulding) and Skyscraper (Demi Lovato)**

* * *

A little too late

Prologue

Bpov

It was my last chance to bail. My son gave my hand a squeeze. My kids deserved to know their father. He left me to die. He promised, he wouldn't leave me any reminders and that it would be like he had never existed. Boy was he wrong. All I saw were reminders. My memories held strong, but the greatest proof too his existence were kids that he had left me.

I could still remember those 6 months of my life clearly.

**25 years ago**

_I lied down in my bed, his words on an endless loop in my brain. " It will be as if I never existed ." He was a liar promising me something of that sort. I felt lost, bereft and unwanted. I wasn't good enough to hold him here. I was unwanted and probably a distraction to him. I gave him my heart and soul and day of my birthday my body too._

_He regretted it though. The morning after it happened I was sore and my muscles ached, but I was happy. For the first time I actually thought things might work out between us. Even though what had happened between us was unorthodox and unheard of I was ecstatic at my ability to please him, but he was practically a stranger to me in the morning. He apologized to me, told me it was something that should never have happened. He was cold and mean. It had felt like one of those 'morning afters' that I had so often read about and watched in movies._

_I doubted myself. Analyzed every single thing that happened that night and_ wanted to find out what I _had done wrong. Was I not physically appealing? Was I not enough?. Me and him we never spoke about it after that. I pretended to be unaffected by it, but internally I agonized over everything that I had done._

_Three days later he told me to take a walk with him to the woods where he left me. Just like that, like I was a piece of scrap that he could discard. _

_How many girls had he done this to. Was I his girl toy? A plaything that he could amuse himself until it was time for them to move on. I felt hollow in my chest, like I couldn't drag in enough air into my lungs. I loved him with all my heart and soul and he just up and left. I felt a sob rip through me. How could he do this to me?_

_I felt like I was in a daze, going through daily motions in auto pilot mode. I lost chunks of my memory. This continued for 15 days. Charlie was going out of his mind, calling me catatonic. Dr. Gerandy wanted to put me on suicidal watch. I felt like my reason for living had gone. I felt like it had been ripped from me and everything that had been told to me was a lie. I thought he loved me, cared for me. I felt like an imbecile. How could I mere mortal Isabella Swan hold someone as great as Edward Cullen. _

_It was a Friday when I realized my period was late. My period was like clockwork. I had never been a day late in my life. I blamed it on my depression. I made a greater effort to appear normal. I went to school. Played the part of an ambitious student perfectly. I would avoid thoughts of him. I made myself busy with work. I studied and read. Kept my mind occupied, but still I felt hollow and breathless. I dreamt of him every night. I prayed that I was stuck in an nightmare, that I would wake up to see his golden eyes staring into mine, and the special crooked grin that was mine._

_I woke up every morning feeling like there were heavy bands constricting around my chest, my heart would be racing and pounding like the wings of a humming bird. Hope of seeing him in my bed would soon give way to crushing despair. I felt like I was inside an endless dark tunnel and my only light Edward, had left. It physically hurt me. My chest and throat would constantly ache from the exertion that I would feel by suppressing my sobs._

_The 25__th__ day of his leaving fell on a Saturday. I woke up and for the first time I didn't feel crushing despair but nausea. I bolted for the trash can in the corner of my room, knowing that I would never make it to the washroom. I threw up all the food that I had eaten last night, and after there was nothing else left in my stomach I dry heaved. I felt like an ass. Thousands of girls go through heartbreak all over the world and here I was puking my guts out like a pregnant lady. It was pathetic really if you thought about it. _

_He had left me like I meant nothing to him and here I was pining over him. For the first time in my life I felt intense hate and anger towards Edward. I had never felt any negative emotion with such a great magnitude. Hate was good. At least it didn't feel like someone had punched a great hole into the place where my heart was. I could work with hate. But as quickly as it came it went, and it was replaced by sadness and loneliness. I couldn't imagine a future without him in it. I blinked my eyes rapidly to dispel the tears that had begun to collect there._

_What with these mood swings, that had me swinging between intense longing and hate for Edward Cullen. Trust him to bring these feelings out in me and have such a great influence over me even when he was miles away doing god knows what._

_I headed out to the washroom and met Charlie on my way. I wished him a good morning and he looked at me in surprise. He gave me a hesitant smile. I was puzzled by the exchange. I looked into the mirror and saw real emotion in my eyes for the first time. My cheeks were flushed from the throwing up. My eyes sparkled with an unknown emotion. I would get through this. The saying " Whatever doesn't kills you makes you stronger" flashed through my head. I would emerge stronger._

_I was interrupted from my thoughts by a strange fluttering sensation in my lower abdominal region. My hands immediately went to that area, trying to find out the cause of the foreign sensation. It wasn't unpleasant just different, like butterflies fluttering inside my stomach. I picked up the grey t-shirt I was wearing and looked down. I saw my stomach had a small but distinct bump. What the hell? _

_I froze, it was impossible. What was going on with my body? I could not be pregnant. The only person that I had been with was Edward and he wasn't human to begin with. Vampires couldn't have children. My breath came in gasps. I wanted to yell. My mouth opened in a silent wail. I thought about and it and I was sure that I was pregnant. The mood swings, the throwing up, the baby bump, the fluttering in my stomach and the biggest proof was the absence of my periods. I felt as though my heart had expanded. I felt a rush of love for my unborn child. I would probably never be with any other man in my life, but I would have a part of Edward through my child. It was something we both had created. I loved my child already__._

_My child would probably not know its father but it wouldn't lack love. My love would be enough for it. I started making plans. _

_I went down to the dining room where Charlie was sitting reading the newspaper. I cleared my throat to announce my arrival. Charlie looked up at me and his face paled when he looked up at me. I didn't know what my face looked like but it had probably scared Charlie. He immediately got up and rushed towards me._

_Charlie didn't feel comfortable showing his emotions, so all he said was a gruff " What's wrong?" I had my answer all worked out but I choked on my words. How could I an 18 year old girl take care of a child. I didn't even know if whether it was human. Tears leaked out of my eyes and I broke down. Sobs ripped through my chest and I fell onto my heels. I rocked back and forth. Charlie kept murmuring. Telling me everything was going to be alright._

_I had to do this for my unborn child. I steeled myself. Got my emotions in check. I stood up and wiped my tears._

_" I need a break Charlie from all this that happened in the last month, I am leaving Forks for a while." Charlie's face blanched. I could practically hear the cogs in his brain turning. I knew he would try to convince me to stay. He opened his mouth to say something but I continued with my well rehearsed speech. " Charlie I need to get my mind around all of this. I just need to be by myself for a while. I'll probably head to Aunt Judy's house. She has a house right on the beach in Phoenix and she doesn't even stay there. It's just temporary. Just for 3 months or so. Until I'm ready to move on. Please dad just for a while. I'll speak too mom about it too." I wasn't stupid. I knew I wouldn't be in any condition to come home after 3 months but if I told him that I would be gone for longer he wouldn't let me go._

_" Bells you have school here, friends who care about you. You can't just leave all of that and go. You are practically running away from the situation. You can have all the space that you want at home Bella you don't need to head over to Aunt Judy's." I opened my mouth to try and convince him but he quickly continued " If you do need space Bells then you can stay with Renee for a while. I think she may be better equipped to help you out."_

_Time to bring out the big guns. I was really hoping to have this conversation without playing my last trump card " Charlie I am over 18 now and besides mom's busy with Phil and their travelling. I don't want to interrupt. I am an adult now and I think that I should be allowed to make this decision by myself"_

_Charlie blanched. He knew that I had him there. He knew that he had no custody over me and even if he didn't approve of me leaving , I could just leave the house anyway and his denial could ruin our father daughter relationship. Seeing no way out of it he gave me a slight nod of his head. Great._

_Convincing my mom was even easier. She didn't even listen to my half-assed speech. She just told me that I was a responsible adult and that I should do whatever felt right to me and get myself together again. _

_Well I didn't see that happening any time soon. My heart was shattered into a million pieces and without Edward, they would probably remain that way. I always would try and concentrate on the anger and resentment that I would feel towards him instead of the betrayal because it helped in keeping myself composed, It helped drive me. But with it came gratefulness for giving me a child, who I could feel fluttering in my stomach._

* * *

_The road trip to aunt Jude's was pretty much a disaster. I stopped at sleazy motels. You know the ones which are generally showed in those horror films, you know like Motel hell where you got served man meat. It was one of the cons of trying to save money, and let me tell you peeing in the street shrubs can be a real bitch, cause you don't know what kind of insect stays there. Oh and the throwing up sucked. First I would be ravenous, then after eating I would feel queasy and then threw up, after which the cycle would start all over again. _

_Coffee is a big NO when you are pregnant and driving. I was pretty sure the baby was using my bladder like one of those squishy toy._

_Anyhow I finally reached there after one and a half days . I would have reached their sooner if my truck would cross fucking 50 miles an hour, and if I didn't have to pee and eat so much. Staying in Motel Hell wasn't fun either. I had inspected every piece of meat that I had been served to make sure it was chicken and not some long lost motel guest. EWW_

_I had spent 4 days in the beach house, during which I spent the majority of my time between eating, puking, peeing and pining for Edward. On the day 4 I ran out of groceries, luckily a helpful neighbour, who reminded me a lot of Mike Newton volunteered to go and get me some food. I kept hinting at the fact that I was not looking for a relationship but he still kept flirting with me. Either he was so stupid that he couldn't take a hint or he was really insensitive and emotionally stunted. But being friends with him had perks. Like grocery shopping._

_He went out and got me the basic stuff and a lot of chicken steak . I believe his exact words were, and I quote " Girls love some good meat."_

_What a total freak. I just gave him an unconvincing smile and locked the door behind me. I had spaghetti for dinner that night, and went to bed._

_I tossed and turned in bed. I felt queasy and knew what was about to come. I ran to the kitchen sink when I smelled something delicious. My stomach snarled and I lost all focus. I whatever it was that was generating that smell. I felt like someone else took over me and I had no control of my body. I felt crazed. I saw myself walk over to the fridge and realise it was the raw steak that smelt so good. I couldn't control myself and I took a handful of it and shoved it into my mouth. I ate 3 whole stakes and then I felt myself come to my senses._

_What had I done? I had eaten raw steaks. Uncooked steaks that were still bloody, and I had liked it. I had never felt any pleasure greater that eating the steak. It even rivalled the pleasure I felt the night of my birthday with Edward. My eyes popped wide open and I finally realized that It was the blood that I craved._

_My child would have vampire characteristics too, wouldn't it. My child craved blood. I was horrified. I realized I would have to ingest blood for my child, and I knew I should feel sick but all I felt was impatience. It had felt so good, ingesting the blood, that I wanted more of it. Was this the blood lust the Cullens always spoke of. Was I channelling my Child's bloodlust, or was my body changing._

_The next day I struck up a deal with the local butcher where he would come over at the end of the day and give me his leftover meat and I would let him take the dates which grew on Aunt Jude's front porch._

_This went on for two weeks. The child was getting stronger, and my stomach was swelling up. I realized it was probably a more accelerated pregnancy and prayed to god that I would have the strength to push my child out by myself. I often told my child about its father Edward. How we met? How he looked and how strong he was. I didn't want my child to be growing up without its father, but what choice did I have. I didn't know where he was._

* * *

_It had been another two weeks and the child kicked hard enough to leave behind bruises. My appetite had increased and I barely left the house. My stomach was practically another continent. My strength was getting sapped away and my mood would sway between fear for my child, anger at Edward and the hurt and betrayal I felt after he left me._

_I called Renee and Charlie once a week. Telling them that I was fine and that I was doing well. I probably didn't convince anyone about how I actually was doing but they didn't question me too much, except for Renee who had panicked when I hadn't called her the first week and had threatened to come over for a visit. I had managed to put her off though._

* * *

_It had been six weeks since I came to the beach house and 10 weeks since Edward left me. I was jarred awake from a very vivid dream about the night of my birthday where Edward and I were just about to make love. _

_The pain was like a small pinch in my belly. I put my hands on my stomach when suddenly the pain kicked up a notch, and it kept increasing till I couldn't breathe anymore. I felt like I was being torn into half inside out. I blacked out from the pain. I woke up and saw blood all over my stomach and realized that the kids were tearing themselves out of me. I couldn't move. I couldn't scream. I just wanted to die. I wanted this torture to end. It hurt so damn much. I couldn't make sense of anything and realized that I was probably dying. In the midst of all this torture, I could make out two blurry shapes sitting in the cavity where my stomach should have been. _

_I realised they were my children. Twins maybe. I closed my eyes waiting for it to all end when I felt a hand on my cheek. I opened my eyes and found a pair of vivid green eyes staring into my eyes, and felt a hand touching my cheek, after which everything went black._

_I awoke with a gasp, to see sunlight streaming in through the French windows. My hand flew to my stomach and realised it was flat. There was no trace of any injury on my stomach. Panic overtook me. What had happened last night? My children where were they and how was I alive. Was it all a dream? Had I finally lost it and dreamt it all up. The pain of not actually having kids left me breathless. Tears collected in my eyes._

_All of a sudden I heard a slight giggle from right outside the bedroom door. I leaped up and exited the bedroom and saw a small boy with brown hair. He was kneeling over the sleeping form a girl with copper coloured hair. He was giggling and trying to wake her up. The kids looked like they were 6 to 7 months old and the boy was able to support himself._

_Suddenly the boy looked up at me and I was confronted with the same pair of green eyes. It looked like he was studying me, assessing me. He suddenly broke out into a smile, that was exactly like Edward's. It was crooked. In fact he looked like a miniature version of Edward, except for the brown messy hair, and tiny button nose which looked like mine. The girl had long copper locks that fell to her waist and looked very peaceful. She again looked just like her father. Her features were sharp but her eyes were shaped like mine_

_They were my children. Tears blurred my vision and a feeling of extreme love grew in me. I would love them more than my life itself. I felt fear at the fact that they grew so up so fast, but I filed it away for studying later._

_I still didn't understand what had happened last night. The feeling of pain was very real, and I knew I did not have the capability of imagining anything so intense. All of a sudden the boy stretched his arms out to me and I automatically moved to carry my children. It was almost painful, to not touch them and make sure that they were real. I kneeled next to them and picked up the sleeping form of my daughter in one arm and my son in the other. I kissed both their foreheads. They were beautiful. _

_My son grinned at me and then looked at the rousing form of his sister. She yawned and slowly opened her eyes. They were brown in colour just like mine. She smiled at me and I nuzzled her neck. She let out a small giggle and it sounded like chiming bells. She looked angelic, almost ethereal._

_Both of them had pale skin. Almost Edward's colouring. Their cheeks were flushed with blood though and then, in the midst of my studying their physical features both their stomach growled simultaneously. I had not given a thought about their diet. They were probably hungry. I took them to the kitchen and fed both of them some leftover lamb blood that I had drained from the meat. They had vampire like sharp teeth. I couldn't stop staring at their faces. Both of them looked identical to their father._

_While walking with them to the bedroom I stubbed my toe at the bedroom door. A small cry of pain left me. My little toe started bleeding. Both of my children stiffened in my arms. They could probably smell the blood. My son suddenly reached out a hand and placed it on my cheek just like he had last night and I felt all the pain suddenly leave me. I looked down to my toe only to find it completely healed. So that's what had happened last night. My son had healed me. He had the power to heal._

_Their rate of growth was very worrisome to me though. My daughter suddenly picked up a piece of chocolate that was leftover from the midnight snack that I had had last night and popped it into her mouth. I waited for her to throw it out, but she never did, She just gave me a toothy grin and shut her eyes and fell asleep again. My son also followed his sister's lead and fell asleep._

_I needed a name for my kids. I wanted to name my some Edward just like his father, and after much deliberation I named my daughter Vanessa. _

_I realised that I probably couldn't go back to Forks with two kids that grew super fast. I had to come up with an excuse to stay here for a while, and see how things went. Soon I too fell asleep next to my kids._

_The next day I realised I needed a game plan. I needed some way to keep staying here and avoid a visit from my parents. I thought the best way to keep staying here was if I enrolled here in Phoenix at High School, finish my schooling here and then move somewhere distant for college. I could take my kids with me and then see where things went from there._

_The growth rate of my kids was worrying. It felt wrong to hide them. I wanted to take them out in the sun and let them play. I wanted to take them out to amusement parks, but I was forced to keep them inside. My children didn't sparkle in the sun like their father, and could easily pass for humans if not for their fast-paced growth._

* * *

_Two months passed like this. I had enrolled in an online course at Phoenix high much to Charlie's dismay. Renee seemed to understand my need for space though. Charlie had parcelled me a new alarm system and had sent me a handgun in case of emergencies. _

_My parents missed me and I missed them too but I couldn't do anything about it. Edward and Vanessa both could live with human food and blood, but they seemed to prefer the blood._

* * *

_I could do it._

_I wouldn't think about him._

_I had to try and heal myself to become a better mother._

_At least if Edward was here..._

_Damn it. 28 minutes without thinking of Edward. It was an improvement from the last time I did this. _

_I still felt incomplete, like a piece of myself had been ripped away from me. A tightness Originated somewhere in my chest like constricting boas, that left me breathless and crying in the nights. I still dreamt of his topaz eyes, his crooked grin, his angular jaw, his copper hair that was identical to his daughter's hair. A sob ripped through me. Why couldn't I be enough? It wasn't fair to my children to grow up without a father. I had seen Ed ( I couldn't say Edward's name out loud, because I couldn't handle the desolation that came with it so I had taken to call my son Ed. I had put Masen as his middle name, and sometimes called him that)_

_"Momma", I looked up in complete shock. Vanessa looked up at me and frowned. " Why are you crying?" At 3 and a half months they both looked like small 4 year olds. I couldn't cover up my shock though. My daughter's first words came when she was just 3 months. Ed looked up at me and echoed her question. _

_"I'm fine honey" I replied ,but my voice was off. Their growth rate was slowing but it scared me. My children were all I had left, and would die along with them too if they were taken away from me. The thought itself made sweat collect at my forehead. Ness and Ed both scooted closer to me and put their heads on my lap. I brushed Ed's hair back. It was messy and unruly just like his father's. They continued to look up at me with intelligent eyes.  
_

* * *

_Five months passed away like this. I occupied myself with schoolwork and the kids. My children had started conversing. Asking questions about anything and everything. They would read and their intelligence was higher than most 20 year olds. Their power to grasp concepts and ideas was extraordinary. They never asked about their father though. They seemed to see the sadness that would creep up in my eyes every time they asked me a question that was close to the 'Who and where's my father' question._

_One morning I woke up to hear the bell ringing. I never had any visitors. I used to ignore all my neighbours so that they would get the fact that I was not interested in fraternizing with them or interacting with them in anyway. They all probably thought I was the crazy loner lady, who nobody knew anything about. Unfortunately it was necessary to distance myself from them, so that my children and I had our privacy. My children knew that they should not show themselves in case anybody came._

_I walked downstairs to open the door when Ed held out his hand in front of me, trying to restrain me. His strength already rivalled mine. Both of them were growing stronger and stronger. " It's not human" he murmured. "Vampire?" I asked him. He shrugged his shoulder. "I don't know what vampire smells like Mom, I haven't really come across one." My children knew that they were hybrids. I had broken down and told them that their father was a vampire . I had given them a very very small and abridged account of him after Vanessa had asked me why they were stronger and faster than other kids._

_I pushed Ed behind me. "Get inside the bedroom, and lock it behind you, don't leave the room." He didn't move though. "Go" I said through gritted teeth. He rolled his eyes. Vanessa came into the room with wide eyes. "Bedroom Vanessa now" Me and Ed told her at the same time. "You too Ed"_

_"Bella I know you're in there, open up"_

_I knew that voice. It reminded me of beaches and scary stories. A wave of nostalgia crashed over me. "Jake, coming" I replied back. " I know him, both of you upstairs now." Ed sighed " No, you can introduce us as the neighbour's kids kay. Just open the door" _

_I walked across the room and opened the door. Jake stepped in and his eyes grew wide when he saw the kids. "Neighbour's kids" I replied. "You're lying" He replied back, and then suddenly his eyes focused on Ness. His eyes bugged open and then his face changed into an awed look. He fell to his knees all the while keeping eye contact with her._

_"what's going on? Jake?" I yelled. He snapped out of his reverie. "Bells" he whispered to me " I think I just imprinted"_

_"What?"_

_"Imprinted Bells like I kinda found my soul mate"_

_"What?" I shrieked. " You.. You stay away from the kids, don't come near them, you pedophile."_

_"Bella let me explain" I shook my head and stepped away from him. His eyes pleaded with mine and I thought to myself that I could hear him out._

_He led me to the love seat in the living room and his eyes searched for Ness. Ed let out a growl and moved in front of Ness, blocking Jake's view of her. Jake did a double take when he heard the growl._

_"Vampire' he growled._

_In a flash Ed was in Jake's face. " Stay away from my sister you creep" venom flew out of his mouth._

_"Stop" I murmured. This was getting really weird. How did Jake know the vampire thing and why was his scent off. "Jake, Explain yourself now. Ed move out of his face. Ness bedroom now please, don't make me come up there"_

_" We'll eavesdrop anyway" Ness murmured. I let out a breath and faced Jacob. "Explain yourself" He looked up at me and snorted, " You've got a lot to explain yourself, I don't understand anything I am seeing anyway. Is this why you haven't come home? Charlie sent me to check on you. He thought you would need some space and time and didn't want to upset you. What's the girl's name? You need to teach that boy of yours some manners a.." A hiss came from upstairs, from Ed I guess. Jacob continued on like he hadn't heard anything " As far as I know vampires can't have any kids." He said all of this in a very matter-of-fact tone._

_"You first" I told him_

_"Fine," he rolled his eyes._

* * *

_I had had the craziest two hours. I had learnt about werewolves and imprints. Alphas and Betas. In return I had told him what had happened with the Cullens, what was going on with the kids and their fast growth. Jacob absorbed all this new information like a sponge. He almost seemed unfazed. " I see" he murmured. _

_"You should come back to Forks" he told me._

_" Have you not been listening to anything I've been saying, I can't. I have kids now. I'll probably have to fake my death or something anyway." I told him and gave him an exasperated look._

_"Your kids can stay on the reservation. We'll take care of them. I am the Alpha. They can't hurt the object of my imprint, Bells. They wouldn't hurt Ed, either. You could visit your kids anytime and I could stay closer to my imprint. Everybody wins"_

_"Jake, I don't exactly know how I feel with the imprint phenomenon."_

_"It's the most logical step Bella, even for the kids "_

_"Aren't werewolves and Vampires enemies?" I asked_

_"They are human too and they're just kids. It's not their fault that their father was a vampire. Bells, I promise to give my life up to protect Vanessa.." and after a beat he said " I could even give up a limb for that boy"_

_And that's how one week later I found myself back in Forks. _

_Ness and Ed stayed on the res and quickly became loved by the Quileutes._

* * *

_I finished high school and Charlie started pressurizing me about college. I balked. I had kids here. I couldn't possibly leave and go to college. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't even blame him for trying to pressurize me to go to college. It's not like he knew he what was going on. As far as he knew, I was dating Jake and I spent all my free time with him. Charlie was very happy about it too. If he knew that Jake was actually in love with his granddaughter he might have had a coronary. My life had improved dramatically though. I spent every waking hour either working or with my kids, busying myself so that I wouldn't think of Edward, but he was always there at the back of my mind. He was the last thing I thought about before going to bed and the first thing I thought of when I would wake, but with the sadness came acceptance. He left me. I couldn't do anything about it now. I knew I wouldn't be able to find anyone else to spend my life with but I had to accept the fact that Edward had never loved me and move on. Clinging on to him and every memory of him was unhealthy. _

_I looked healthier though. My eyes were brighter my hair was lustrous. I had new found self-confidence. _

_"I have the craziest idea but play it right and it might work, that is if your father doesn't shoot me" Jake told me while I watched Ed and Ness sleep._

_"What?"_

_"Let's get married"_

_My mouth popped wide open. I stopped breathing. " What the fuck is wrong with you Jake. NO. Are you delusional?"_

_To my surprise Jake merely laughed at me. " Listen to me. You'll have to go to college and all that nonsense right? So we get married. You tell Charlie you can't go to college or that we are moving in together there. We can take Ness and Ed with us. Charlie can't question us. We can tell him we adopted kids or something. Now obviously I can't be there where ever you get an acceptance all the time because I am the alpha here, but Charlie doesn't know that . We can get a divorce later, because I plan on marrying your daughter" He winked at me._

_I thought about his plan and realised that it was pretty great. " You know Jake that's a pretty good idea, hmm... It's actually kind of surprising that YOU came up with it "_

_"I think you just insulted me Bells."_

_"I've got an acceptance from the University of Alaska"_

_"That's fine"_

_I smirked at him " You know Jake, that wasn't the most romantic proposal"_

_He grinned, went into his room and brought out a gold band. That bastard knew that I would like his idea. He was already prepared. He came in front of me got down on one knee and said in words that were loud and clear " Isabella Marie Swan would do me the honour of being my fake wife. I promise to love you" and then in an undertone said " In a purely platonic way of course, and I promise to always protect you and the kids"_

_I accepted and grinned at Jacob. "I'll let you break it to the kids Jake" I murmured. Jake's eyes widened quite comically in fear. " I don't want to give Ness the wrong idea, you know. I will always want her."_

_I grimaced. "Jake" I used my warning tone. " You know we could move in together, and not go through the marriage crap, I mean come on. You are like a brother to me and it's just awkward." My mouth opened in horror. " I will have to kiss YOU at the wedding."_

_Jake's brow furrowed. Clearly he hadn't thought this through. He opened his mouth and then shut it again. His nose wrinkled and then he looked me up and down. " No to the moving in cause Charlie would shoot me. We could tell him that according to Quileute custom PDA isn't allowed. I don't think Charlie would want to see us like that anyway."_

_"If we tell Charlie we are getting married, then he would shoot you."_

_" He would rather we get married then live in sin Bella. He said using his __ϋber condescending tone. _

_"Smartass. He knows everybody living on the reservation. He's seen Paul with Rebecca multiple times. Hell, he even walked in on them in their car."_

_"What? What happened then." He was ecstatic about the fact that he had blackmail material on Paul. There was no love lost between Paul and Jacob. Sure, they tolerated each other on their best days, but their relationship was very volatile. Paul couldn't accept the fact that Jacob had imprinted on a pale face. Paul felt like Jake had betrayed their people._

_" Basically, Charlie was doing his night patrols when he came across this abandoned car near Mrs. Mallory's pub. He went up there to give it a ticket when the car started rocking. Now, Charlie being Charlie, didn't realise what was going on in the car. He looked through the window and saw Paul and Rebecca fornicating the car seats. They were sitting up and Paul had his hand down there and.."_

_"TMI Bells. Please give me the abridged version please, that's my sister you are talking about" Jake was nearly gagging. " I swear I am going to kill Paul." Boy. If looks could kill I would be a smouldering pile of ash on the doormat._

_" Calm Jake." Even though I didn't really like Paul, I was starting to fear for Paul's life. Jake was shaking. Vibrating was more like it. "I'm fine, I just didn't think about them like that you know, so what happened to Paul?"_

_I sighed. He wasn't going to let it go. Even though it pissed him off. " Charlie saw them. I think Charlie collapsed after that. I don't exactly know what happened . Paul smelled Charlie's scent. He dressed up and came outside the car, and found Charlie dry heaving. Needless to say they couldn't look each other in the eye after that day. They still can't. But we are way off topic, Jake. I'm okay with the marriage thing. But I am going to divorce you, and if I do have to kiss you during the wedding, then it's a onetime thing. You explain it to the kids and I will explain it to Charlie. Renee is going to kill me." I grimaced._

* * *

_It was on the 19__th__ of August, when I found myself walking down the aisle in a white simple dress hand in hand with my father. _

_My thoughts went to Edward. In another universe, instead of Jake it could have been Edward standing there and my marriage wouldn't be a sham. Tears collected in my eyes. _

_I had started to lose my faith in love. Whoever said that 'It was better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all' really was an ignorant dumb-ass He probably had never fallen in love or he had had a very happy life with his wife. _

_I still cried over Edward. I still struggled to breathe in the nights and sometimes I felt like someone was trying to drown me. I would feel like I was suffocating. I hated and loved him. _

_I kept myself busy with the children so that I wouldn't have to think about him. The kids now resembled 11 year olds. They were highly intelligent. The Quileutes had found out legends where the kids would grow for 2 years and then would stop growing when their bodies resembled that of 18 year olds. It was a Quileute legend where they were warned not to get physically involved with a vampire. The mother's would die while giving birth to "demon spawns" it said._

_Ness and Masen had come to the wedding. They were introduced as Emily's cousins. The wedding was a small and intimate affair. Only close friends and family was invited. My mother had surprisingly supported me in my decision to get married. She told me that I was far more mature than she was. Charlie nearly shot Jake. He yelled and made a huge scene. He asked me if whether I was pregnant. I had laughed on his face. Too late to ask that Charlie. I had used the "I am 18 years old Charlie and I can do whatever I want" card on him. He had turned puce and I thought he was having a stroke. Having no choice he had to get on-board with the idea. The Quileute's knew about the whole wedding sham, but helped me out. "You're going to have only one first marriage Bella" My mother had told me. I had given her an unconvincing half smile and downed a shot of Tequila that Leah had slipped me. I realized that drinking helped to loosen me. I would never have more than 3 shots though. Whenever in emotional pain, have a shot. It should have been on the commercials that promoted Tequila._

_Edward probably never thought of me as the type of girl that had Tequila. I hadn't made a habit of it though, I was a mother after all. Masen wasn't really his father's greatest fan. Masen hated his first name. He wouldn't answer to any other name but Masen. He called his father a coward. Ness had a very gentle and forgiving nature that was identical to mine. She was naïve__. I was afraid that her attitude would get her hurt someday. She didn't like her father, but it didn't necessarily mean that she disliked him. She never spoke against her father though and would always tell Masen to stop slandering him. They often had fights because of this. _

_The wedding itself was a blur. I remembered reciting my vows and the 'I do'. I sounded out of it. Almost like a robot. Jake gave me an understanding smile. I put on the largest fake smile that I could, and faced the throng of well wishers.__ My face hurt. I just wanted to be alone so that I could break down. I would never get married again and my one and only marriage was a sham. I was now Isabella Swan-Black. It didn't even sound right. If there was a god up there he or she was cruel._

_My attitude had hardened considerably and I wasn't the naïve girl any longer. I had matured and my face had lost its roundness. It had brought out my cheekbones and made my face more attractive. I had changed a lot._

_After the wedding I left for my fake honeymoon to Alaska, where Jake and I would directly start studying in the University of Alaska. Little did they know that there was no honeymoon and that Jake and I were moving there to Alaska to stay with my kids in peace._

_I sat in the BMW Z4 roadster that Jake had built from scratch. It was a beautiful piece of machinery. Hanging out with Jake and the kids had made me a car geek. I had helped him put finishing touches to the vehicle._

_After getting rice thrown at us, we sat in the car. I waved goodbye to Charlie and Renee. We picked up the kids from The Lodge and left for the airport. I let the tears fall down in the dark. Of course the supernatural beings in the car could smell the salt and, immediately all three of them put their hands on my shoulders and tried to console me._

_" All brides are supposed to cry on their wedding guys." I told them._

_They all gave me sympathetic looks, but I could see anger in Masen's eyes. I knew if I didn't stop crying then Masen would start insulting his father all over again and I didn't want to go through that again. So I gave them a placating smile and told them that I was alright. I leaned my head back against the backrest of the car and thought about my birthday night._

_"Kiss me again Edward, please" I pleaded with him. _

_"Bella no. You aren't the only one who gets carried away." He looked at me with his Topaz eyes._

_I pouted. He sighed and gave in. His hard lips touched mine. Suddenly his lips turned frantic. Like he couldn't get enough of me. He took in my bottom lip into his mouth and sucked it. I felt his tongue touch the tip of mine. I was quite happy with the turn of events. He rolled on top of me. I could feel his body press into mine. A groan left his lips. _

_I could feel his arousal pressing against my pelvic bone. His thigh was in between mine. I felt a foreign tingle in my lower half. I ground against his thigh. "Bella" He moaned. He ground into my pelvic bone. His lips moved down towards my neck. His tongue traced a line from under my earlobe to the hollow of my throat. He pushed down the collar of my pajamas and kissed there._

_My hips had started moving up and down in a rhythm, and pressed into his thigh. The friction was taking me upwards and onwards towards ecstasy. Quite suddenly I found myself without a T-shirt. His hands were everywhere. Edward looked into my eyes, they were black, full of hunger and lust. His eyes slowly moved down towards my chest. His eyes widened comically and I would have laughed if we were in any other situation. _

_"Beautiful" He murmured. I felt his hand trace the top of my breast, after which he cupped it. His rolled the nub in between his fingers. I hissed in pleasure. He experimented and saw my reactions to different motions. My eyes had closed with the sensations coursing through me when suddenly I felt his tongue there. A choked moan left my lips. He suckled and licked it. _

_I don't know how it had happened but we had found ourselves naked and I felt his hand against my heat. He rubbed me there, and I felt a finger enter me. "You're so wet" he murmured._

_"For you" I whispered back. His fingers slid in and out of me while his thumb rubbed me. My pleasure reached its peak point, where I orgasmed._

_I then felt him slide into me. It was uncomfortable at first, but Edward looked like he was in heaven. His face was scrunched in concentration and his breathing was heavy. I felt him reach my hymen. He looked at me and I nodded. He quickly pushed in and I felt a sharp pain. My breath stopped. He stopped moving and waited for me to give him the OK._

_The pain slowly faded and gave way to pleasure. I moved my hips upwards and urged him to move. He got the message and slid in and out of me, slowly. He was hitting the belly ache square on. Unintelligible sounds started pouring out of my mouth and I started moaning his name._

_His speed slowly sped until pleasure ripped through me again. I could feel him pulse inside me and felt cold liquid sliding down my thighs. He continued to move. Cold sliding against hot until he stopped. He slid out of me then and I told him that I loved him. He whispered something back but I felt myself losing consciousness._

_The next morning I had woken up in his arms. They were rigid around me. I looked up at him and saw his face was rigid. Without any emotion. _

_"Edward? What's wrong" I asked him._

_He extricated his arms from my body and turned away from me, like he couldn't look at me anymore._

_"Bella I'm sorry. Last night shouldn't have happened. I don't know what came over me." His tone was bland. His mouth scrunched in disgust. _

_"Edward, it's fine. Last night was the best night about my life. Do you regret it?" I asked him and waited for his answer with bated breath._

_"Yes" He answered back. Hurt ripped through me but I controlled my emotions. "Alright, it won't happen again" I answered back. My tone was a mirror of his. Devoid of any emotion. I am pretty sure the hurt I felt was plastered across my face. Written on the lines of my forehead, but he didn't give any further comment, nor did he try to comfort me._

_We barely spoke for two days, and never talked about that night. He was distancing himself from me. I could feel it. Had I done something wrong? . Edward didn't come over to my house at night anymore. He didn't show me any sign of affection. I didn't understand his aversion to that night. I tried to ask him about why it couldn't happen again, but he shut me down by giving me a cold stare._

_Of course he then took me to the forest and left me there. Which explained his cold behavior He had never loved me. He slept with me and then dumped me. He had treated me like a one night stand after that night._

* * *

_I was 19 and my 20__th__ birthday was coming up in 5 months. Classes were easy in the University of Alaska. My children looked like 15 year olds and would attend school. I had created fake transcripts for them from a contact that my building security guard had given me. His name was Jenks. I did business with him through the phone._

_He had mailed me Masen's and Ness's fake passports and school transcripts. They were transfer students from Europe and were my cousins._

_They didn't have any problems catching up with studies. Masen had girls fawning over him, but never paid them any attention. Sure he would flirt with them but that was it. At least that's what he told me._

_Jake was working as a mechanic at a famous auto shop and raked in quite a huge amount of money. Masen, Ness and I, all three of us had jobs. Ness did babysitting and took 20 dollars an hour and Masen took tuitions for younger kids. I waited tables at a local restaurant and much to my surprise got amazing tips. It's amazing how far a smile to a customer can take you._

_Our monthly income was in fact quite large. Jake got 2000 dollars a month, and I got 3000 dollars a month including tips. Masen and Ness each earned 500 dollars by themselves. We earned 6000 dollars a month and it was more than enough for us. The college had given me a full scholarship so I didn't need to spend a dime for my education. Masen and Ness both were very good at sports and academics, thus the amount I had to pay for their schooling was reduced by fifty percent._

_The Alaskans were a group of very generous people. I barely spent 300 dollars behind their schooling. My children always had whatever they wanted. I told them to use the money that they earned by themselves for unnecessary things such as salon trips. Masen would use his charm on the female shop staff for discounts and Ness was no different._

_I had just come back from college and was cooking myself spaghetti. The kids had gone with Jake to hunt. They preferred to __ingest blood. The house was eerily quiet without them. They were going through the punk phase. Both of them would stay locked in their rooms with music blaring so loud that, you could hear it from outside the house. We lived in a duplex house. The college had assigned us that apartment after much begging and pleading. It hadn't come for free though. We paid 1500 dollars a month even after the college paying, part of the rent. Ness was trying to charm the house owner to further reduce the price though. _

_The apartment was quite nice. It was homey. On entering it you would find yourself in a spacious hall. It had a leather couch set and a 52 inch flat screen. It had a bookshelf and a small coffee table. We made sure to have lots of fresh flowers there. On its right was a small compact kitchen. There was a dining room that had a long table. There were buffet cabinets that lined the right wall of the dining room, and it had a glass wall that overlooked the city. We were up in the 22__nd__ floor. There was a bathroom that had a glass sliding door and a shower big enough for 3 people. There was one bedroom downstairs that was occupied by Jacob. He had strict instructions from me, and was not to be found anywhere near my daughters room at night. Even though Ness and Jake were at the friends stage, I didn't want to take any risks. There was a storage room that we had converted into a game room. It had black leather couches and bean bags. A 62 inch TV covered the walls and an Xbox was there. The room was littered with game CDs. I myself was addicted to Halo and COD. Ness had rescued a foosball table from a dumpster and bought it home one evening three months ago, which was placed against the north wall there._

_Upstairs, there were three bedrooms. One for each of us. I had a queen sized bed in my room. A dresser and a wardrobe was there in my room. It was painted a soft beige and my furniture was coloured a light brown colour that complemented the beige. A long mirror hung down the side of my bed. My way of dressing had changed. I dressed in clothes that flattered my curves. I let loose more. I sweared more often. I would ride a motorcycle to college. I was a different girl. I was very popular with the boys in college and I took advantage of it. I wasn't a slut, but that didn't mean I didn't sleep around. I took every measure necessary to forget Edward. When it came to my kids I was very responsible though. I had killed the old Isabella Swan off, who would cry for Edward Cullen every night. I had transformed into a new, and more fun person. Of course I still loved Edward , and he was there in each of my thoughts but I made an effort to not acknowledge them._

_Ness's bedroom was more feminine. Her walls were lavender, and her furniture was white. She had a study table that was attached to a book rack. She had a macbook on her study table. She had a dresser with a mirror and an enormous wardrobe. She had a single bed. All her furniture was white in colour. Her room was always pristine and clean at first glance but the moment somebody would open her wardrobe, clothes would come tumbling out. She reminded me of Alice. All her clothes were branded and when she made an effort to dress well, she turned heads. Her closet was full of bright colours., and I could get lost in them. Jake would hide any clothing that he felt was short or inappropriate and he hated it when males looked at her. As a mother I too was very protective of my daughter. She was a cheerleader and a pair of blue pompoms would always be placed on her study desk. Photos of us were placed all over the walls there._

_Masen's room was always messy. He had the all American dressing style. He was always in a pair of jeans and some sort of polo shirt. His room would always be littered with books and clothes. He would always make a conscious effort in dressing even though he denied it. I knew he secretly enjoyed the attention that he received from the females. Even 40 year olds would flirt with him. Jake sometimes would have to restrain me from slapping the cougars. Masen's green eyes were piercing and his smirk had the ability to turn all women except for me and his sister into goo. His pout and puppy eyed look was another thing entirely. Masen always got what he wanted. His pout had the ability to melt my heart. Even Jake was affected by it. Ness would huff at us when we would fall prey to it. He had a double bed, because of his ability to move all over the bed when he was asleep. He nearly broke my ribs one day when he kicked me in his sleep. He had 3 huge speakers placed strategically on 3 walls. He was arrogant and had something of an attitude. He was stubborn and opinionated, but he had a very good heart. He never treated me with anything other than respect, he would always be the first to apologize if we fought and he barely ever lied. He and Ness fought like cats and dogs though. He had posters of famous musicians lining the wall. He played the guitar and piano. The guitar was always placed on the right side of his bed and the piano was placed in the guest room. I never told him that his father used to play the piano. I was afraid that he would stop playing if he knew that. I saw a lot of Edward in him. They both had the same sparkle in their eyes and they had identical faces. _

_There were two bathrooms on the top floor. Much to Masen's and Ness's dismay they both had to share one bathroom. Masen didn't want to share a bathroom with Ness because of her 'Girly shit' as he put it and Ness didn't want to share her bathroom with him because he always left the bathroom in a mess. Both the bathrooms upstairs had a bathtub/Jacuzzi. _

_I was broken out of my thoughts by the phone ringing. I quickly picked it up and asked who it was. The man on the line told me that it was the bank._

_"Mrs. Black, your account has had a rather large sum of money deposited into it by a Anthony Edward. Do you know who it is?" They asked me._

_I froze. There was only one person who could go by that name. I had to clear my throat twice to speak._

_"Yes, I do know him" My voice broke at the end._

_"Ma'am he's made a deposit of 200,000 dollars to your account. He called the Forks, Washington branch of our bank. He said that he would be making monthly deposits of 200,000 dollars to your account. He also said that he was sorry?" The bank manager enquired._

_"I don't want it. Call him back. Tell him I don't need his money." My voice didn't hide the pain and hurt I felt. He thought he could pay me money in return for his forgiveness. How dare he. Who did he think he was._

_"Ma'am with all due respect, I can't do that. He doesn't have an account with our bank and he didn't leave us a number to contact him with. Our caller ID didn't pick up his number either. The money has been deposited to your savings account to do as you wish." He replied back. He was probably befuddled by my behaviour. I bet he didn't get too many customers trying to return 200,000 dollars._

_"Fine, I can't do anything about it, can I? But the next time this man calls tell him I don't need his money. Is that clear?" I asked him._

_"Of course ma'am , but there are a few options you could consider. You could consider our gold premium banking package..."_

_" I really have to go. How about I call you in two days time, to talk to you about my banking options, yes" I told him in a placating voice. I hung up on him after that._

_I neither wanted nor needed his money. We had a decent income and we were doing quite okay. I knew Masen and Ness would need cars because they would be getting their permit within another three months, and I knew that our savings were quite low. The amount of money that we spent behind clothes was quite high and our BMW was getting old, but I couldn't take his money._

_The kids came back from hunting and ran towards the bathroom._

_"I call dibs on the bathroom" Ness called out. Masen groaned out loud._

_"Mom, tell her that I need to use the bathroom" Masen called out to me. He came in the living room and found me sitting on the leather couch, staring blankly at the flat screen. I spent years trying to forget him. And bang, he goes ahead and does something like this. I was pretty sure that the money that he was paying me didn't even make a dent in the fortune that the Cullens had, but it hurt. He thought he could buy my forgiveness. How cheap did he think I was. Feelings that I tried to keep repressed inside bubbled out of me. My eyes turned glassy. I blinked rapidly, trying to get rid of the moisture in my eyes._

_"Mom what's wrong?" Masen asked me. _

_"Nothing's wrong sweetheart." I told Masen._

_"You're a terrible liar mom" Masen put his palm on my shoulder and squeezed it. His looked me in the eye and asked me again, "What's wrong, did something happen. "_

_Jake sat on the loveseat and looked at me with concerned eyes. "Bells, what is it?"_

_Ness came down the steps in a blur of blue and white. Her hair was wet and glistening. She bit her bottom lip and looked at me with concerned eyes. _

_"It's your father. He's wired 200,000 dollars to my account. He told the guy at the bank that he would send it every month. He told them that he was sorry, I told them I didn't want it, but they couldn't return the money at that point. I told them not to accept the next transfer."_

_I looked up at their faces. All of their faces showed shock. Jake was the first to snap out of it. "Why would he send you money now?"_

_"It looks like he's trying to buy his forgiveness. How cheap does he think I am? I don't want his money. His money never attracted me to him."_

_"Take it"_

_"What?" I yelled._

_"Take it mom" Masen told me. "It's the least he could do after everything that he's done to you."_

_"We don't need it. I don't want to put myself in his debt." I yelled._

_" Mom after everything you've told us about the Cullens, we know that they can afford it. It's not going to financially impair them or something right"_

_Ness nodded her head. He did have a point but I wasn't comfortable doing this."It's morally incorrect. Taking money from someone like this is wrong"_

_This time it was Ness who answered me " He's willingly giving it to you. You aren't taking it from him mom" I looked at Jake to back me up. I was warming up to the idea though._

_"It's your call Bella. Look we have money, but we could use some more. You don't have to use it. You could save it for emergencies. We can do some snooping of our own and return all the money later when we have the means. We could use a new car, and the college isn't going to keep paying the rent to the apartment" Jake told me._

_"Fine" I conceded. "I'll call the bank and tell them to keep it coming"_

_An hour later I called up the bank. I told the man to tell Mr. Anthony Edward that he was a bastard and that he could keep paying me, but I wasn't going to forgive him. I also had to get a gold banking membership or something like that._

_I wasn't very comfortable doing something like this but I was outvoted. I vowed to myself that I would find some way to pay Edward his money back._

* * *

_It had been three years since I got the call from the bank about the deposits. The money kept coming though. Ness and Masen were in college here in the university of Alaska and I was graduating with in a year. They had convinced me to use the money to buy them both a car each. Masen got a maserati grancabrio sports car that was black in colour. I got a Maserati Ghibli. I also had a Harley Davidson bike, that I used more often. Ness got a Porsche Carrera 911 turbo that was cherry red in colour. Jake bought himself a Lamborghini Aventador that was yellow in colour and was a limited edition. Of course we splurged. We got 2.4 million dollars a year from Edward. I quickly got used to the fact that we were officially rich._

_I was chopping vegetables in the kitchen when the door to my apartment suddenly flung open. It startled me and the knife slipped in between my fingers and cut a good portion of my left index finger. I gasped in pain and the sight of the blood, that was gushing, or more like squirting out of my finger made me feel woozy._

_Masen rushed towards me. I could see the bloodlust on both their faces. Masen's nostrils were flared and I could see the venom pooling in his mouth. They both cut off their breathing. It was so similar to what took place in the Cullen house two days before their departure, that the pain of it took my breath away._

_Masen clenched his teeth and spoke to me. " Mom it's okay. Let me heal it kay" He walked forward and placed his palm on my cheek. A numbing sensation passed through my hand and when I looked down at it, my hand was healed. My hand and shirt was bloody though. Masen quickly left the room, the smell of the blood being too much for him._

_His healing abilities were so useful. I was still quite clumsy and Masen had to use his ability on me at least once in two weeks. I quickly washed all the blood off and put bleach on the kitchen sink. I went upstairs and got changed. I would probably have to burn this shirt. Too bad I actually liked it._

_I came back downstairs to find Masen, Ness and Jake sitting on the couch. I frowned when I saw Jake and Ness on the loveseat. They had taken their relationship to the next stage, and had moved into the same room, which had led to a huge fight between me and them. She told me that she was fully grown and that she knew what she was doing. They were very much in love though, and I couldn't really do anything about it, so I had to concede. Masen though showed no signs of settling down. He went through girls like he changed clothes. I had tried to speak to him about this issue but he had shut me down quickly. He told me he would never hurt a girl like their father hurt me. He told me they all knew the risks of being in a relationship to him, and that he was very clear with them. He told me that he wanted to be sure that he loved a girl, unlike his father and then settle down. I couldn't argue with him after that._

_They all had shocked looks on their faces, though Jake's face had the hint of a smile. "Mom something happened while we were hunting today." Ness told me. There was excitement on her face. _

_"What?" I asked her. I couldn't help but be scared. _

_"I think I have a power" She said._

_Ness would often be jealous of Masen because he had a power. She never said anything but it bothered her. You could tell. I didn't mind that she didn't have a power, but she was disappointed. So when she told me that she had discovered a power I couldn't help but smile and feel happy._

_"What is it?" I asked her. I hated being out of the loop, and I felt like it was one of those moments when I was out of the loop. It felt like they had a secret and they wouldn't tell me what it was. I felt left out._

_"We were hunting, and Jake as usual was showing off his great hunting skills" She said sarcastically. Jake rolled his eyes at her._

_"And..." I asked. I was quite impatient._

_"I wished he would be human. I started to wonder what he would be like. I was concentrating on it actually when suddenly Jake started getting shorter. Like from 6'7 to 6'1. His temperature reduced to 98 degrees. His scent changed to a human one mom. It was so cool. But he could change into a wolf still and had the speed and scent of a wolf. It was just his appearance and scent that I altered. I think I can mask the supernatural aspect of a being. Isn't that cool. I know it isn't as awesome as Masen's healing ability but it's cool. He had his strength and all but we couldn't detect that he was a werewolf. He looked and smelled human. Even his heart rate had reduced."_

_"That's great Ness" I said. I kept thinking of the possibilities. I had thought of becoming a vampire for a while now though. I was getting older and I couldn't leave my kids alone. I was 23 already._

_"We practiced it a couple of times" Ness told me in an excited tone._

_I grinned. "It was the creepiest thing I ever saw in my life. Jake had started to shriek like a girl when it happened for the first time." Masen said._

_Jake rolled his eyes. I was very happy for Ness. I knew Masen's ability affected her. I wished for the millionth time for Edward to be here. I wanted him to see his kids._

* * *

_I was 24 and I had graduated. I was teaching literature in a high school at Alaska. Masen and Ness were in university._

_I was teaching As You Like It to the kids, and they seemed to be enjoying it. _

_"Touchstone's character was much like the stone it was made of, he judged people's character like touchstone, the stone that had the ability to differentiate between fool's gold and gold..." I continued to teach them when my phone rang. I removed it from my pocket to silence it when I saw it was Sue Clearwater, Charlie's girlfriend._

_She never called me on my mobile. If she wanted to talk she would call Jake, who would give his phone to me to speak to her. I didn't even know that she had my mobile number. I excused myself from the classroom and walked outside the class, into the hallway. _

_"Sue, this is a surprise"_

_What she told me made my world crash. A pained cry came out of me, and then I saw everything go black. When I woke up I was in the school clinic. The doctor was poking and prodding me. No doubt using my unconsciousness as a advantage to touch me. The school doctor was a huge flirt and didn't understand his limits. I pushed his hand away, and then I remembered the phone call that I received from Sue. I started to sob. _

_I had to call Jake._

_"Where's my phone" I whispered._

_The doctor, who had a panicked look on his phone, quickly handed me my phone. "You had dropped it in the hallway when you lost consciousness, I'll give you some privacy" He muttered. He quickly left the room. He didn't react well to tears I realised. He had a look of discomfort on his phone when I was sobbing._

_I picked up my phone and dialled Jake's number. _

_"Hey" he said on the phone. I couldn't help myself. I broke down for the second time._

_"Bella! Bella what's wrong? Bella! Can you hear me" He frantically yelled on the phone._

_"Jake... I need you... to pick..pick me up" I could barely understand myself due to the sobs._

_"You're at school right? Right Bella? I'm coming kay. It'll be okay Bella." I could hear the engine of his car running. He hung up on me._

_15 minutes later I saw Jake barrelling through the clinic doors. He stopped in his tracks when he saw me. I'm sure I looked hideous. I looked at myself in the small mirror at my side. I looked like Samara. My hair was all over my face, tear tracks lined my face. My eyes were red and my nose was running. Occasionally muffled sobs would break through._

_"Bella, let's get home, kay."_

_I shook my head. " I booked two tickets to Forks"_

_Jake looked at me curiously. " Why? "_

_"Sue called" I told him._

_"Why what happened?" he asked_

_"It's Charlie, Jake. He had a heart attack and..and..he didn't...he didn't..m..m" I couldn't get the sentence out. Charlie was a constant in my life. I couldn't imagine life without him. We didn't see each other very often because I wasn't able to leave Ness and Masen by themselves. But I called him at least twice a week. _

_Jake's eyes filled with tears. He didn't say anything. He just came and hugged me. _

_Everything was blurry after that. Jake had told Masen what had happened and he had packed for us. We went to Charlie's funeral, where I was expected to speak. I couldn't though. It didn't feel like enough. There was so many things unsaid between me and Charlie though. I never told him that I loved him and that he was the best father in the world. He could never meet his grandchildren. _

_They lowered his casket in the ground, and I felt like a part of me was placed there with him in the casket. I couldn't imagine living a life without him. I saw my mother for the first time in 3 years and saw that she had aged. Her temples were grey and she had crinkles in the corner of her eyes. She too shed tears for the man she had once loved. I held her hand tightly, and her touch grounded me._

_The ceremony was beautiful though. Sue told me that Charlie had left me his house, and all of his savings. I didn't want the money and gave it to her. She asked me if whether I wanted to sell the house. I couldn't bear to even think about selling the house. It held so many memories of Charlie and Edward. _

_"No" I said. _

_I visited the house after the funeral. Sue and her kids had moved into the house with Charlie. I walked into my room and realised that Leah had taken my bedroom. My cupboard was filled with her clothes and my desk had her books on it. I felt a sense of relief when I saw her things in my room. I didn't want any reminders of my old room. I didn't want reminders of the life with Edward Cullen that I had. I had spent six years trying to forget about him, but I could still imagine him here. The window where he would climb through, the way he would pace my room when I would irritate him._

_I fell to my knees and cried. I mourned for Charlie, and for the loss of the life that I could have had with Edward. I cried and cried until Leah found me in her room. She used her werewolf strength to pick me up. She cradled me and put me on the bed. I was embarrassed at my display of emotion._

_"I'm sorry" I said in hoarse voice._

_"It's alright Bella. I lost my father too. At first you're in denial. You can't accept the fact that they're gone. It feels like you won't be able to move on. You feel like there were so many things unsaid between both of you. You consider the what ifs. Then comes acceptance. That hurts the most. You cry and cry and you can't stop. After which you feel numb for a while. You can't imagine carrying on without him. You look at other people and wonder how they are functioning so normally, how they are so happy. But eventually enough time passes. Life moves on. You won't ever get over it but after a while you'll be able to think about him with a smile on your face. You'll be able to cherish the happy times that you had with him."_

_I couldn't say anything._

_"I don't know if this will upset you more or if whether it will help you feel better Bella, but I want to give it to you" She got up from the bed and walked to the dresser. She removed an envelope and a CD case. My breath stopped. I could have recognised that CD case anywhere. It was Edward's birthday present. She handed it to me. I looked at the CD with wide eyes. I felt numb. I almost welcomed the feeling. A wave of nostalgia swept through me, I remembered Edward's excited Topaz eyes when he had given it to me. The envelope held the photos that Edward had stolen from me. The first photo was a picture of him. My imagination had not done justice to him, I felt like someone was stabbing me in my heart. _

_"Where did you find this?" I asked her._

_"Under the floorboards. I was going to have the floor carpeted, but then thought against it."_

_She eyed me warily, like she was afraid of my reaction. "Thank you" I told her._

_Two days later I flew back to Alaska. I went home and was engulfed in hugs that Masen and Ness gave me. I smiled at them, but it felt phony. I had missed them a lot though. I washed up and ate dinner that Ness had made for me. The kids were treating me like I was made of glass. They were talking in low voices around me and looking at me sympathetically. I couldn't take it anymore._

_"I have something for you both" I told them._

_"Oh!" they said. Masen raised an eyebrow and Ness eyed me curiously. Masen looked exactly like Edward when he did that._

_"I have pictures of your father" I said. I didn't want to give them the CD. The CD was mine, and I felt possessive of it, besides I didn't Masen to know of the fact that his father too played the piano. They both frowned at me._

_I went to the suitcase and got the photos out. Masen backed away from them but Ness stepped forward. She took the photos from my hand and peeked at them. She glared at Masen and he too stepped forward to see Edward. I knew they were curious about what he looked like, since I had had no photos of him._

_Ness had a smile on her face and I saw tears fall down her eyes. Masen's face was void of any emotion. "We look alike" he said. He said it with no inflection or emphasis. His tone was bland. Ness looked up at me and I could see the pain in her eyes. "I wish he was here" she said. She sniffled and Jake immediately had her in his arms, consoling her. Jake couldn't bear to see Ness in any kind of pain._

_Later in the evening she had framed the photos and kept it in her room. I had kept just one photo of him with me. It was the one where I smiled at the camera and he was looking at me. His arms were wound around my waist. The look on his face was probably that of affection, but it could be easily mistaken for love. I was so happy then. The difference between that Bella and this Bella was so great. I was no longer naϊve. My face was more angular, my eyes didn't light up like that anymore and I never smiled like that anymore._

* * *

_I had two days left for my 25__th__ birthday. I had come back home after a very stressful day at school. I was tired and sleepy. I repressed a yawn. Jake had gone to the grocery shop to buy some ice cream. I rubbed my eyes and willed them to not shut, and I stifled a yawn. I entered my house and immediately felt a cold chill down my spine. I felt eyes on me. My heart rate sped up, and my fight or flight instinct kicked in. I could feel that something was very wrong. Where was Jake when you needed him? I took two steps backwards, heading towards the door, when I heard the door snap shut. I whirled and saw nothing except the door shut. _

_"Bella, over here" I heard someone say. I turned around and the first thing that I saw was flaming red hair, my eyes then traveled downwards. Her features were sharp and her eyes were dark. She had a sinister smile on her face. _

_"Victoria" I said. I was terrified. The look on her face confirmed what I already knew. She was here to kill me. _

_"Sorry I took so long to get to you. Your boyfriend thwarted all of my attempts to get you. It took some time to evade him"_

_Boyfriend? Jake had never told me anything about Victoria._

_"I didn't do anything to you Victoria., and Jake is not my boyfriend. Please let me go."_

_"I meant Edward. He killed James, my mate. I'll kill his"_

_"You've made a huge mistake. Edward left me. I'm not his mate. He didn't love me Victoria. Please..Please Victoria" I pleaded_

_She snorted and her eyes danced with laughter. " You're stupider than I thought you were"_

_This conversation wasn't making any sense. Edward was trying to protect me because he wanted forgiveness, just like the cash he sent every month._

_"He does it out of guilt Victoria, not love."_

_She looked at me with knowing eyes. "Goodbye Bella, tell James I said hello. Tell him that I love him."_

_With no warning she blurred in front of me. Her teeth slid through my skin, and then I felt pain. I yelled. I went blind with the pain. I heard a loud crash and saw Jake fighting with Victoria. I yelled again and Jake's eyes net mine. Victoria used his distraction to her advantage. She blurred out of the room._

_Jake ran towards me. "Bella! " he said. He shook me. I had no strength to move. My head lolled to the side and he saw the bite on my neck. He gasped._

_I was in and out of consciousness for the next three days. I heard Masen's yells and Ness's cries. Every time I cried out in pain Ness and Masen would be there to soothe me. The pain was so great that I just wanted to die. I felt like I was being burnt at the stake. I wanted it to end._

_At the end of three days my heart finally stopped beating. My eyes opened and I saw the world around me with new eyes. I could literally see everything. Everything was so clear. I looked into my children's eyes. They were at the far end of the room. My throat burnt. I felt thirsty. Like I hadn't had anything to drink in a thousand years._

_I inhaled and I smelled a thousand different scents. It was almost overwhelming. The scent of my kids made my mouth water. My eyes must have shown my thirst, and they both stepped back. I didn't want them to be afraid of me. I reigned in my thirst. I found it easier than I thought it would be, to control my thirst. _

_"I'm fine" I said. My voice had changed. It sounded smoother. My skin was pale and my teeth was sharper. "I need to hunt. The thirst is messing with my head"_

_Jake stepped in front of the kids and said " I'll take you kay. How're you feeling"_

_"Except for the thirst I feel great."_

_"That's good" Jake said._

_I looked at my kids. "We'll talk after you get back mom" Masen said. They both gave me a reassuring smile. I smiled back at them._

_Jake took me to the forest where he taught me how to hunt. I drained a panther and a buck._

_I could run extremely fast. So fast that even Jake had trouble keeping up with me. "Slow down Bells" he said._

_I laughed at him. He smiled at me in response. When we got back home my thirst was temporarily curbed. Masen and Ness sat on the lounger and they looked up at me. _

_"First things first mom" Ness said. She focused on me and I felt a tingling sensation. My skin softened and my heart started to beat and my scent changed, but I could still see things with clarity and I still had vampiric speed and strength._

_"There you look human. Now I took the liberty to call up the school and tell them that you're sick and won't be able to attend school. You'll have to stay at home until you can be around humans. Don't worry about your appearance. I'll be able to control your appearance from miles away. You need to learn how to move like a human, Masen's going to help with that. I will help you with acting human. You are also going to have to control your strength, again I am going to teach you that, because Masen cheats in games by using some of his vampire strength."_

_"I do not" Masen said indignantly._

_I grinned at their behaviour. I knew I would be able to get through this._

* * *

**Present Day**

I had tracked the Cullens down to Reed College in Portland, Oregon. I Knew they were going to be attending this college. I was going to be teaching at Reed College. Masen was standing next to me, reassuring me. We got out of my Audi A6. It was one of our least conspicuous cars. Our more luxurious cars were in storage. I looked like a human courtesy to Ness.

Masen was here to arrange his schedule with the receptionist. Ness had already come in the morning and done so. We had a large 6 bedroom house near Willamette river. It was always rainy here so this was a good place for the Cullens to come.

The Swan-Blacks were very rich. I taught in colleges and got a lot of money. We had money invested, that yielded a lot of money. We even had real-estate. I owned about 35 high rise buildings. I even helped Jenks's son Jay in developing fake passports and IDs. We earned about 2 million dollars a month. We had more money that we could use.

I had tracked the Cullens through Jenks to Buffalo in New York a couple of years ago. By that time I had a lot of money and I bought them a Lykan Hypersport car which was priced as 3.5 million dollars, a Lamborghini Veneno priced at 5.3 million dollars, A dodge Viper Concept for 3 million dollars, a Mazda Furai Concept of 4 million dollars, a Audi Avus Quatro priced at 4 million, a Ferrari pininfarina for 5 million and a Jaguar XJ13 for 15 million. I had them sent to the Cullens front yard, with a message that said that they could choose which car they wanted, and that money Edward couldn't but my forgiveness. I had written that These cars were bought with my own money and that I was richer than them. I told Edward that I had bought him the Jaguar though and that they wouldn't be able to return the cars. Edward stopped sending me money after that.

I wanted my kids to know their father, and hence I was in front of Reed College. Classes weren't starting for another week though. I wouldn't tell Edward about the kids right away. I wanted to hurt him like he did me. I had told my kids that they were not supposed to tell Edward anything about their relationship to him. I wanted to see if whether he could work it out by himself.

I tracked Edward here through Jay. I told the receptionist the same thing that I told everybody else. That I was 43 years old and that I had two children. I was divorced, but stayed with my ex-husband because my kids were attached to him. Her eyes widened when I told her about the ex-husband part.

I walked back to my car half an hour later, wondering what would happen next week.

* * *

**A/N- Wow 15000 words. Love it, hate it? Please review. I will post a chapter next week on Monday. This is my first Fanfic. Please be kind. Oh and the cars are all real and they are real hot. Check them out. I haven't really figured out how to have line breaks and stuff like that so bear with me. It'll take me a bit of time to get it. I don't really know how to get a beta, so can someone help me out that? I wanted to get the flashbacks over with. They aren't that detailed, cause they are memories. Lots of new stuff in this chapter. Bella's had a major attitude change, Ness can make someone appear human, Masen can heal. We don't know what happened to Victoria and Bella is rich. **

**I'll post the next chapter next week Monday.**

**Lot's of love to ya'll,**

**XOXO**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys, I know that I said that I'd post the chapter on Monday, but since I finished it today, I thought I'd post it. I'm sorry if you find any grammatical errors in the chapter. Remember I don't have a beta and I'm doing this by myself. I have a 11 hour time difference with the Pacific time thing. It's actually 12:20 in the night here. All characters except for Masen and Marshall belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I just like to play along with them. Oh and anything in italics is a memory.**

**Mood music for the chapter is: Waiting for the end (Linkin Park), The truth (Kris Allen), I love you (Avril Lavigne) and Losing grip (Avril Lavigne)**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

A little too late

Chapter 1

Bpov

This was a stupid idea, a really stupid one. Normal college classes were going to start day after tomorrow, and I was jittery. I was trying to back out of teaching in Reed College. My mind was really conflicted. I wanted and didn't want to see the Edward. I wanted to see him for the kids and also for myself. I needed the closure. I needed to know where it all went wrong. Did he ever love me or was it all a lie. I wanted him to see how well I had done in my life without his help. I was independent and strong, not the mouse like creature I was when I was with Edward. I used to suck up to Edward and I had kept him on a pedestal. I had absolutely no confidence and self-esteem then.

I knew I was lying to myself. Even though I wanted to see Edward for all the reasons above , the greatest reason was that underneath all the anger and resentment I felt for Edward, I still loved him. It was because of that love, that I shied away from all types of commitments and relationships, because I didn't want to get hurt again. It had taken me years to get a hold on my feelings for him, and I knew that when I saw him after all these years, those feelings would come out. I didn't want to break down all over again. Edward had torn my heart apart, and my heart still bore the scars. I knew when I saw him those scars would rip open all over again. The idea of feeling that pain again scared me.

I didn't sleep anymore and I missed dreaming. I missed dreaming of Edward, in a different universe where we were together, where he loved me. Where he didn't look at me with those cold, hard and unfeeling eyes that he looked at me with in the forest. But what I didn't miss was the feeling of desolation that would come when I would wake up alone in my bed, realising it all had been a dream.

I was pacing from one end of the room to another. Masen and Ness had gone exploring in the city and I could hear Jake downstairs typing on his laptop, I could hear the cars rushing on the main road that was 4 miles away from my villa and I could hear the birds chirping. It was cloudy and I needed to hunt.

All of a sudden the clicking stopped downstairs. Jake bounded into my room, not even bothering to knock.

"Knock much" I asked him in a scathing tone.

He rolled his eyes. " Bella I could hear you pacing the floor all the way from downstairs. I'm pretty sure you've made holes in the floorboards. I still don't understand the compulsion you have towards wearing heels in the house." He cocked an eyebrow at me.

"I could have been pacing naked" I muttered, "and I have to practice walking in heels, Jake. I still have balance issues, and I don't want to embarrass myself. Remember that time when I fell on my ass at Macy's. I knocked over 2 mannequins and a dress rack. God that was embarrassing, you aren't a girl so you won't understand." I told him. I winced when I remembered the way every one was staring at me.

Jake snorted. "You're talking like it happened ages ago. It happened last week Bella. Trust you to be the only clumsy vampire in the history of vampires, besides the real reason you're walking in these heels is because you don't want to embarrass yourself in front of Edward. Admit it"

"Shut up, and besides I'm not that clumsy. I nearly had Victoria the last time I fought her. I don't understand how she escapes every time," My nose wrinkled. I was actually quite puzzled with it. Every time I came close to catching her, she would slip through. I'm sure the frustration that I felt was quite evident on my face. Jake sighed.

"Bella, it's not your fault. Let it go" He told me. He sat down on the bed and patted the empty space next to him. He looked at me sympathetically.

" You don't understand Jake, I was so close. I would have had her Jake. I don't even know what happened. One minute she was there, and the next moment she was far away. I wanted to catch her but my head felt all muddled up. Like I couldn't control my limbs properly. Arghh." I felt a huge sense of defeat while I, for the millionth time analysed what had happened. I was almost obsessed with it. Since I was in my human form , my cheeks flushed and tears gathered in my eyes.

Jake had a faraway look in his eyes. "You never told me about the part, where your head got all muddled up" he told me.

Crap. That part had slipped out by mistake. The truth was that I was ashamed of what had happened last to last month. I had spent 15 years tracking Victoria and each time I got close she got away from me. It was embarrassing. I didn't want to tell Jacob about the last part because I felt stupid. How the hell could I have become confused and dazed at a time as crucial as then. I hadn't hunted for 2 whole months to punish myself for making such a dumb mistake. Masen and Ness had to practically carry me into the forest and force feed me.

"I felt stupid" I whispered. My eyes were downcast.

"Bells, it isn't your fault. Besides Brady and Collin told me that something like that happened to them too. I think it's a talent. Was your shield up?"

"No, my shield wasn't up, besides how am I supposed to kill her if she has a talent of that sort." I had discovered three years after my transformation that I was a shield. I remembered the day when we discovered what my vampiric gift was. I remembered the look of pain on Jake's face and the look of panic in Ness's eyes.

_I sat on the dining table, grading papers for 12__th__ graders, when I suddenly heard footsteps in the forest. The speed at which the person was running proved that it was a vampire. I could smell its scent. Jake and Ness had gone for some alone time to the woods. Masen had gone to Germany for a week, because he wanted to buy some limited edition car from there._

_I had told Ness to not conceal my appearance, and I looked like a vampire. I blurred out of the house and stopped on the front porch. A vampire girl, not older than 16 stepped out of the trees. She had golden hair, and a cherubic face. She had the kind of face that you couldn't take your eyes off of. Her face was so innocent, but her eyes told a different story. They were bright red and hard. If it wasn't for her eyes I would have thought she was an angel._

_She ran and stopped in front of me. _

_"I smell dog," She growled. Her voice was high pitched and almost hurt my ears._

_"I'm sorry I don't own any dogs. This is my family's territory. Please refrain from feeding here" I took a step back from her. I wasn't afraid of her though. She was so tiny, I knew I could take her._

_"I didn't mean the animal dog, I meant a werewolf." She sneered at me. She was looking at me like I was trash. It angered me. What did she know about werewolves? I had to get her off my property before Jake came._

_"I don't know what you're talking about, and while we're at it, you need to leave my property. You have no business here." I glared at her. I couldn't mask the slight anxiety that I felt though. I tried to listen for any signs of Jake and Ness coming back. _

_"I have every right to be here. I am Jane , from the Volturi. How dare you speak to me like that. Alliances between werewolves and us aren't appreciated. I will spare your life if you tell me where to find the mongrel. They don't deserve to live." She said in a haughty tone._

_I panicked. I had a member of the Volturi on my door. I knew that I could lose my life if I upset her. I had two choices in front of me. Either I had to tell her where Jake was or I had to fight her. If I didn't kill her then it wouldn't only cost me my life but Jake's too. If anything happened to Jake then Ness wouldn't survive and if anything happened to Ness, then Masen wouldn't survive. My decision could have a ripple effect and end all of our lives. I didn't want to be in the bad books of the Volturi though, and spend the rest of my very long existence running away from them. _

_"Who else knows you're here?" I asked her._

_"Why? Do you want to fight me?" She looked amused. She had a smirk on her face._

_"No, I just wanted to know how many of you all were here. I can't have too many vampires hunting here." I told her._

_"Oh, It's just me. Aro sent me to bring a vampire back to Volturi castle. He is supposed to be executed." She actually seemed disappointed at the fact that I didn't want to fight her._

_"So will you tell me where the werewolf is? His scent is all over the place and it's proving tougher than usual to track it."_

_I opened my mouth to tell her no when I heard the sound of paws running through the woods. Fuck. Jake was here. I could also hear Ness's footsteps running alongside him. They both burst through the trees. I heard Ness stop running. She hid behind the trees and Jake burst through the shrubs._

_Our villa was located right on the border of the forest. It was because of this particular feature that people didn't want to buy this house. They didn't want their house near a forest where bears reside, but it was its proximity to the forest that made me buy the house. It was very convenient for hunting and we had privacy to be ourselves here._

_Jake growled at Jane and she laughed. It was a lilting sound._

_"Never mind" Jane murmured._

_She looked at Jacob with an intense stare. It had a hint of amusement in it. Suddenly Jake cried in pain. He fell to his knees and curled into a ball. His voice sounded choked, like he was suppressing sobs. My eyes widened. In a flash Ness ran out of the woods and crouched protectively in front of Jake. Blocking Jacob from Jane's stare. She too fell on the floor in pain. She was shrieking in pain. I immediately understood why the Volturi had sent her to bring back a vampire and why she was amused when she asked me if whether I wanted to fight her._

_"Stop" I yelled. I couldn't bear to see the sight of my daughter on the floor like that. My feet was frozen in shock, and my mouth was gaping open. All of this happened within a couple of seconds. I pushed Jane as hard as I could. She flew through the air and crashed into a massive oak tree that collapsed. Ness and Jake stopped yelling but they both remained on the ground, gasping for breath. _

_I hissed and growled at her. She got up and looked at me with the intense stare. It had no effect on me. Her face grew puzzled and a look of intense frustration was painted on her face. Her eyes widened. The look reminded me of the first time Edward looked at me, when he realised he couldn't read my mind. I guess I was immune to whatever power she had. I smirked at her. She directed her stare at Ness again, and Ness cried out in pain again._

_Rage coursed through my veins. How dare she hurt my daughter? Everything around me took on a reddish tint. My breathe came in gasps. I wanted to kill this woman who threatened and hurt my daughter. My teeth clenched and a growl originated somewhere in my chest. I focused on Jane's face. I felt an intense need to protect my daughter. Suddenly I felt a thin sheet like object project from me. The sheet was around me and I felt it stretch and move towards Ness and Jake. The moment the shield covered them, they stopped cringing in pain. _

_Jane shrieked, when she saw that she could no longer hurt them. _

_"You're a shield" She spat at me._

_My eyes had widened even more, when she told me this. I had a power? I would contemplate on this new revelation later. I grinned when I realised she no longer could hurt us. I ran at full speed towards her. She turned around and ran into the woods. I spent a brief second checking to see if whether I had control of the strange reddish shield. I flexed it ,to test it . It stretched further. I smirked and ran towards her. _

_Jake ran at her from the side and me from the back. We tore her apart piece by piece. I had never killed a person, or in her case a vampire before. I thought I would feel remorse at what I had done, but it never came. In fact I relished killing her. I made it as painful as I could for her, because she hurt my daughter._

_Later I had made Jake run over her trail so that her scent could be masked by his. We couldn't have any trackers from the Volturi knocking on our door. We had probably killed an important weapon of the Volturi, and if they found out that we had done it, we would be exterminated, and this time my shield wouldn't have helped in the slightest._

"Your shield Bells. It would have blocked any ability if that sort" He told me in an exasperated tone.

"Oh" I felt like a massive idiot now. Why didn't I think of that?. Next time I would keep that in mind.

"Oh! Speaking of shields, You do know that you'll have to constantly keep Ness and Masen under your shield, so that Edward can't rummage around their heads, and know the truth. I know you want him to know about his kids from you, when you're ready to tell him" Jake said.

" I know, I'll have to hunt regularly to keep my strength up. But Masen looks exactly like Edward. Won't they see the resemblance?" I was actually quite concerned about that. I knew that if Edward realised that he had fathered my kids and rejected them, then Ness would be very hurt. Masen wouldn't say anything but he too would be wounded. I wanted to make sure he would accept them and was ready for the responsibility of being a father.

Suddenly I felt pain course through me. What if he had found his mate, or a female vampire companion. I knew I wouldn't be able to see Edward with another girl. It would kill me. I felt terrified. I knew he didn't love me, but knowing and seeing were two very different things. I knew he was it for me and seeing him with someone else would destroy me. It had been 25 years and he would have moved on with another girl. It was 25 years and I was still hung on Edward Cullen.

I had an epiphany then. I realised that somewhere still in my heart I hoped that I could get Edward Cullen back and be a normal happy family. I wanted him love me and accept my kids. It was love that had made me track him down, and I was lying to myself when I told myself that I was tracking him down for the kids. I didn't track him down for the kids but for me. I had to stop this line of thinking immediately. I needed to stop this line of thinking, and prepare myself mentally to not have a breakdown if I saw him with a mate. He didn't love me. But I was better looking now and a vampire too, maybe he'd be attracted to me.

No..No.. Even if he was attracted to me, which he wouldn't be, I wouldn't give him a chance. He left abandoned me 25 years ago. I was going to go to Reed College to tell Edward about the kids and to prove a point. I wanted him to see I had done very well in my life without him in it. I would just have to ignore my feelings of love for Edward, easier said than done, I know. My inner voice was getting snarky now.

"Stop biting your lips Bella. You're going to bite it off one day and then you'll be lipless." Jake said, jarring me out of my thoughts.

"I'm just worried about Wednesday " I sighed. I wanted to sleep, so that I could get a respite from all this worrying that I was doing. I felt like my brain was working overtime, and tiring me out.

" Bells, I know you're trying to convince yourself to back out, but you can't okay. You promised Ness and I don't want her to be disappointed." Jake said.

My eyes narrowed," Of course you're only worried about Ness. What about me? I am going to meet the man who has been the love of my life for the last 25 years. He could have a mate now, or..or a female companion, like..like Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis in that movie that Ness was watching on Netflix last month" I sounded panicky.

"Friends with benefits" Jake said.

"Ya, a fuck-buddy" I said out loud, but somehow I couldn't imagine Edward with one.

"Always so crass Bella. The name of the movie was 'friends with benefits'" Jake rolled his eyes at me.

"Oh, anyway, he could have one of those, and what will I do then huh? What if I have to teach the tramp? I won't be able to teach her. I wouldn't even be able to be objective in grading her papers." I wailed.

"Bella stop worrying. If at any time it's too much for you, just pretend to faint or something, okay. And please for the love of god don't do anything stupid" Jake said.

"Like what?" I asked him.

"Like professing your undying love for him. Remember he left you, don't give him the power to reject you and hurt you again. I know you're going to see him after 25 years, and a lot of unresolved feeling are going to come up, but please, I am begging you, don't tell him you love him. If he rejects you, you're going to end up in the comatose state you were in Forks, right after he left you." His voice had turned pleading at the end.

"I wouldn't do that." My voice didn't sound very convincing.

"Bella, you need to find a nice boy for yourself. " Jake said.

"Wow, you sound exactly like my mother. She used to say the same thing when I was 16. " I said in an exasperated tone.

"Stefan's nice. He owns the auto shop, and I'm pretty sure I caught him checking you out the other day."

"Jake, NO" I said firmly.

"Fine, fine. Oh, you have to fly out at the end of the month for Renee's death anniversary" Jake said.

"I know, I haven't forgotten." Renee had passed away six years ago because of a car accident. Phil had survived, but only barely. He was driving the car when a driver ran them off a bridge. Phil felt so guilty because of this incident and he attempted suicide a year later. My lips turned down.

"Bella, you know I was kidding about Ness being disappointed right. If you aren't ready, then it's fine. Ness and Masen can speak to him without you, or they won't speak to him at all. You don't have to do this. They'll understand." Jakes brow furrowed.

"It's fine Jake. If you wait for me to be ready, then the kids will never meet him. I don't think I'll ever be ready, to face him. I am going to do this, and if he has a mate... I have to accept it." I sighed. My bottom lip quivered and I had to suppress the sobs that were trying to come out.

I stood up and suddenly felt Jake's hand in mine, "Bella, I'm here for you, if you ever need to talk about something, okay. I know you're the suffer in silence kind of person, but if you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to come to me."

"Thanks for the offer Jake."

"You're body temperature is colder, why is that?" Jake asked me.

"Keeping my appearance in human form, uses up Ness's energy, so I told her to not bother to control my temperature. Nobody except for you guys will touch me anyway, besides I found a way to keep my body temperature up anyway." I explained.

"What.. like drinking coffee?" Jake asked.

I snorted. "No, not coffee, what gave you that idea? I'm, a vampire remember. We can't ingest human food. We'll have to puke our guts out later" My tone was that of a mother explaining to her 6 year old child, that the sun rises in the morning.

"I know you're a vampire, but they showed the coffee thing in Vampire Diaries" He said.

"You watch Vampire Diaries?" I had to inhale his scent, just to make sure it was Jake standing in front of me.

"No, Ness enjoys watching it. I just watch it with her sometimes. Besides she has a huge crush on that Damon character. I wanted to see what he looked like. I look better looking than him right?" He actually sounded insecure.

"Awww. Jake do I detect a hint of jealousy? Don't worry, Ness is besotted with you, but Ian Somerhalder is, hot." I laughed. Me and Ness had actually made a list of hot actors. My list comprised of Jensen Ackles ( Dean, from Supernatural ), Ian Somerhalder (Damon, from Vampire Diaries), Matt Bomer (Neal Caffrey, from White Collar) and Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock Holmes, from Sherlock).

"No, I am not jealous. But how are you planning on increasing your body temp?" Jake asked me, rather indignantly.

"Smoking" I replied.

"Smo...what?" Jake's eyes had widened and he was gaping at me.

"The smoke I inhale will increase my body temp, and unlike human food, I will be able to exhale it out. The heat from the smoke will heat up my body. It's called thermal equilibrium Jake." I was enjoying his dumbfounded expression.

"Ohh." He looked impressed. His bottom lip had curled over his top lip and his eyebrows had risen.

"Yes, Ohh. Listen I need to go hunting. When Masen and Ness get home, tell them to eat lunch. I made Lima beans and left them in the fridge. I don't want them to go hunting too regularly. The Cullens will be able to track their scents." I told him.

"What about your scent?"

"It'll be a vampire scent, so they won't know whose it is. If they track it back, they'll see it leads to the Willamette river. On the other side, they won't be able to smell it anymore, instead they'll smell the scents of thousands of humans, including my human scent. They can't lead it back to me. I can control Ness's power with my shield. I can let it in when I want to and keep it out at other times. It's very easy actually. I can make my shield selectively permeable. I can control what powers I let in, and which ones I can keep out. Which is why Edward won't be able to read my mind. Alice and Jasper won't be able to read me too because I'll keep them out." As a human, my ability was weaker. I could only protect myself from abilities that affected me mentally, but as a vampire I could protect myself from both mental and physical powers.

" Ness and Masen will have to hunt at least once a month Bella." Jake said. He sounded concerned. "And Bella, Ness uses up her powers while keeping your human appearance. She needs to hunt or she'll get weaker." He chastised me.

"I thought of that. You'll have to accompany her and cover up her scent. You have to do the same for Masen, too. Like me you can tell Ness to turn you into a human once you get to the other side, so they won't recognise your scent." I told him.

"From where do you come up with these things? " Jake sounded bemused.

"I have an IQ of 170" I tapped my index finger against my temple, "and I have nothing better to do at night. I sit in bed, and think about crazy schemes and plans, things were more fun when I had my boy toy around. What was his name? Peter..Or was it Parker? He had magic fingers." I winked at Jake.

"His name was Patrick. Besides I'd prefer you scheming in the nights, then screaming. Who knew you were a screamer. Ughh. And you had no shame. You know that we all have super hearing." Jake shuddered.

I shrugged, "Nobody told you to listen in on us."

"We didn't want to. We can't control our super hearing." He sounded annoyed.

"All females need to have some fun Jake, if you know what I mean." I waggled my eyebrows at him.

"How would you feel if you heard me and Ness go at it?"

I paled. " I would be very very angry. I'd probably kill you. Best friend or not. I know you guys do it, but I've never heard you guys" I stressed on the very. I wasn't joking. I had temper issues and vampires have the ability to feel emotions very intensely. Pissing me off wasn't a good idea.

Jake smirked, "Relax Bella. We do it in the forest and when you aren't in the house. " He rolled his eyes at me."

"She's my daughter Jake, I am very protective of her." I explained.

"Ya, ya you're a total mama bear. Vicious and protective when it comes to your children." He was trying to calm me down. I was grouchy, because I hadn't hunted for a while. Getting me angry at a time like this would lead to Jake losing a limb.

"Damn right," I said.

"You should hunt. You're getting crabby" He pushed me out the bedroom door.

"I am going. Don't push me" I whined. I actually stomped my foot.

"Such a baby" Jake said, under his breath. I don't think I was not supposed to hear that. I growled at him.

"Am not," I said through gritted teeth. I crossed my hands and stomped my right foot so hard that a dent formed on the floor. Jake merely rolled his eyes.

"Bella, just hunt. We'll talk then, kay"

"Fine" I huffed. The woods were on the other side of Willamette river. I used my vampire speed and sprinted to the river. I stopped on the edge. I had to do this very carefully. I didn't want the Cullens to connect the vampire scent and my scent, nor did I want the Cullens to recognise me due to my human scent. I moved to a crowded area on the river bank, so my human scent would mingle with the other humans. I ran at vampire speed towards the river, diagonally so that while tracking the vampire scent they would be at a distance from my human scent. I didn't want to take a risk, because there was a small chance that my scent wouldn't be diluted enough by the scents of the other humans. I moved so fast that the humans weren't able to see me. They just felt a strong breeze. I jumped diagonally, and mid jump I blocked Ness's gift. When I landed on the other side of the river bank, I looked like a vampire and smelled like one too.

I was sure that the Cullens would hunt here, because this was the only forest around here. I knew that when they came, they would find my vampire scent, and they would follow it. I could almost imagine their expressions when they wouldn't be able to track it past the river. I grinned. I ran further into the forest. I smelled the lynx before I heard its heartbeat. My throat burned, a testament to my thirst. Venom flooded my mouth, and my vampire instincts took over. A growl rumbled in my chest. I followed the scent, and jumped on the lynx. I drained it within minutes. My thirst wasn't sated as yet, so I took down some deer.

After sating myself I ran in the direction of the river, when suddenly I heard footsteps flying through the woods. They were coming from the direction of the river, right towards me. I turned the other way and ran deeper into the forest. I knew it was vampire, because of how fast they were travelling. There were two of them, and I could bet all my money on the fact that they were from the Cullen Coven, out of all the days that they had to hunt, they chose the one day that I had come to hunt. I needed to get out here fast. I ran faster than I had ever run.

I didn't want the Cullens to know that I was a vampire, before they knew about the kids. I weaved in and out of trees trying to confuse them. They were on right on my tail. They were tracking me. Fuck..Fuck.. I was faster than the average vampire, so they hadn't seen me as yet, but they could hear me running. I was scared of turning around towards the river. I couldn't have them seeing my face. My clothes were bloody too.

I slowly curved inwards wanting to double back. I jumped on the branch of a tree, that was on my side. I swung up to the topmost branch. I swung across the branches of the higher branches of trees to reach the river. I knew it would take the two vampires some time to track my scent across the trees. I swung from branch to branch like a trapeze artist. I caught a glimpse of Rosalie's golden hair through the leaves. She had stopped under the tree I had jumped up on, and I saw Emmett scaling the tree.

I continued to run. I had almost run all the way to the river, when I heard them behind me again. I heard Emmett yell, " Stop, we won't hurt you."

I wanted to yell back at Emmett and say that they had already hurt me 25 years ago. I ran strategically so that they wouldn't be able to see my face or hair. "We just want to talk," He yelled again. I ran faster. The river came within jumping distance and I leaped, diagonally, and mid-jump I allowed Ness's ability to get through my shield. I kept my head low and I started walking with the crowd. Using my vampire vision I saw Emmett and Rosalie scan the crowd. I ducked inside an antique shop, so that they wouldn't be able to see me.

Twenty minutes later, I walked out the antique store and saw no sign of them. I felt like keeling over in pain. I ran home, trying to keep my thoughts at bay. For the first time in 25 years I saw one of the Cullens, and I was filled with pain. They all left me. They all abandoned me. I was so hurt.

Upon entering the house, I found it empty. Jake must have gone out too. I sat on my bed, and sobbed. I felt like that was all I was doing these days. I was either thinking about the Cullens, or crying over them. I had to prepare myself to see Edward. If seeing Emmett and Rose had done this to me, then what would seeing Edward do. I couldn't afford to break down in the middle of the class.

I blankly stared at the wall opposite my bed. I would have to find some way to see him before classes began. I'd have to hide and spy on him. Just so that, I wouldn't be taken by surprise in class. Where would I find him? I kept thinking.

I heard Jake and the kids return. "Bella, we have a problem." Jake yelled. I heard him bound up the stairs.

"What is it, Jake" I used my no nonsense voice. His brows furrowed.

"Bella, what happened?" He asked. I must have looked pretty bad, sitting there in muddy and bloody clothes, staring blankly at a wall.

"I'll tell you later, what did you want to talk about?" I asked.

"You do know that Edward can read my mind right..." He asked.

"Yes" I responded to his question curtly. Of course I knew that.

"Then he'll be able to pick stuff out of my mind, like the truth about Ness and Masen..." He told me.

Crap. I felt like a moron. Jake and Edward would intersect paths at one time or other. I knew Jake would regularly come down to college to pick Ness up. Edward could read his mind and find out the truth, so easily.

"Block your mind," I told him.

"It's not that easy, besides you can tell Edward that he can't read Ness's and Masen's minds because it's genetic." He replied back.

"Avoid him." Jake rolled his eyes at me. "Next," He said.

I opened my mouth to give him another suggestion, when I had an eureka moment. My eyes lit up, and I grinned. "Think in Quileute!" I whispered, under my breath.

"I'm sorry I didn't quite catch that," he said.

I rocked back and forth on the ball of my heels. "Think in Quileute Jake, He wouldn't know it. Only the residents of the reservation know it. He'd be lost. We could even speak in Quileute, when he's around, so he wouldn't know what we're talking about. It would rile him up too. Edward likes poking his nose in other people's business." My words were rushed. Jake had to concentrate to separate my words and comprehend what I was saying. It took Jake another 20 seconds to understand what I was staying.

"I could do that. You know what that's a great idea. Ness..Masen you heard your mom. We'll talk in Quileute, so that the Cullens don't know what we're saying. They had probably eavesdropped in on our conversation from downstairs. One of the perks of super hearing, was not having to repeat yourself.

"My mom's sooo smart. What happened to your brain Jake?" Masen asked. He liked to get Jake riled up. He knew it eventually led to brawls, and Masen loved a good fight. He reminded me so much of Emmett.

"Masen, not now", I chastised him. Jake had opened him mouth to say something back, when I widened my eyes at him and shook my head. "He wants to get a reaction out of you, Jake. Don't give him that satisfaction. I swear to god Jake, you can be such a kid some times." I heard a loud smack downstairs .Good. Ness had gotten to Masen. She was vicious when it came to Jake.

"OWW, that actually hurt Ness", He yelled. This would lead to a fight. I was sure of it. I bounded down the stairs, only to find Ness and Masen in a headlock. I growled under my breath, and pulled them apart. "Act like adults. You're 24 years old, not 16."

"She started it" Masen said, pointing at Ness. "He insulted Jake" Ness said. I knew that Ness was right, but if I picked a side, I would be subjected to a very long lecture on how I was biased, and always picked Ness's side, because she was my little girl. The truth was that Ness barely did anything wrong, Masen was always up to no good.

"Hash it out, outside okay. I don't want anything breaking, oh and not in the garage. Remember what happened last time?" The last time that Ness and Masen had fought, they'd dented my Volkswagen Scrirocco R. "Yes mom," they replied in unison.

"Bella, are you going to tell me what happened today? You look awful" Jake asked me. He gave me the 'Tell me what's going on, and tell me now' look.

"I got ambushed by Rosalie and Emmett, they had come hunting when they caught my scent. I ran, they almost had me. Emmett kept yelling that they just wanted to talk, and that they wouldn't hurt me.."

"A little too late for that..You know the hurting bit" Jake interrupted me.

"I know, my thoughts exactly. Anyway, I hid my face and ran like the wind. They didn't see me. They tried to track me but my trail ended obviously. They couldn't find a trace of it on the other side of the river bank." I explained.

"That's okay then. So any plans for tonight? I was thinking we could all watch the new Tom Cruise movie, Oblivion or something on Netflix" Jake looked at me. He knew I planned on doing something else. Something I didn't want to tell him. He had asked me this question on purpose. He was trying to trick me into telling him what I had planned.

My eyes narrowed. "Nice try, Jake. Yes, I have plans, no I am not telling you what they are. I am a grown woman, I can do what I want to do." I told him. He wasn't my father.

"I didn't say anything." He held both of his hands up. "Just don't do something stupid, okay"

"I know what I am doing, Jake. " I took in a deep breath and tried to not kill Jacob. He acted like my father sometimes. I wasn't daft. I ground my teeth.

"I know you know what you're doing, but you can be impulsive sometimes and love can make you do stupid things, okay. Just be careful. I know you want to toy with Edward for a bit before you tell him about Ness and you. I also know that you're scared that he'll reject the kids, and hurt their feelings by doing so. So you want to be sure that he won't do something like that. You want to know what went wrong with your relationship and...you want to see if there's still a chance for you and him being together, and you don't want Ness and Masen to influence that. You think that if he knows that he has kids he'll take you back, because he should do so and not because he wants to. You love him, but there are still feelings of hurt and betrayal in you. You also know that you need to let go of him, and you don't want to let go before you get one last shot at him. You know that even if he takes you back, you might never be able to trust him again. You have a difficult road ahead of you but things will work out Bella, whatever happens, you'll be fine. "

My mouth opened and closed. " Jake I..I.." I couldn't get the sentence out. Most of what he had said was right. " I know you Bella, I know how your mind works. Also I probably would have done the same thing. " He put his right hand on my shoulder and squeezed.

"You're partly right. I want to know what went wrong with our relationship, and I do know I have to let go, but I don't think I ever could, but Jake I don't expect him to take me back. I want him to be very clear as to where we stand. Only then will I tell him about Ness and Masen. I just want to see him, it's been 25 years, and I miss him terribly. I don't want to get rejected again, Jacob. I don't want to be his girl toy and go through that feeling of pain again, Jake. I won't pursue a relationship with him" My chest felt hollowed. I put on a fake smile.

"But I'm going to be fine Jake. I've lived with these feelings of betrayal and heart break for the last 25 years. I am used to it. I am fine." But I knew I wasn't fine. I hadn't been fine for the last 25 years. I had learn to live with it though.

"No you're not. I've seen what you do. You keep yourself occupied, so that you won't have to think about him," Jake gave me a sympathetic smile.

"Okay wise-ass I need to get going. I have plans. Look I've been fine for 25 years okay. Don't worry about it. How would you feel if Ness dumped you huh? Would you let go and move on?" My tone was acidic at the end. I didn't want a heart to heart, with Jake. I knew how to manage my emotions. All I had to do was keep myself distracted.

I walked out of the house without a backward glance. I could hear Ness and Masen bickering at the back.

I was going to go spy on the Cullens, so that I wouldn't see them for the first time in class and breakdown.

Now, where did they live? I went back to the bank of Willamette river and tracked Rose's scent. I realised that Emmett had tried to track me, because his scent was all over the place, but Rosalie went straight home. I guess she was still a selfish bitch. I had never let Rosalie's behaviour annoy me, but she was a bitch. She had some serious attitude issues.

The scent led me to a large villa, three storeys high. It was near an empty field. I could smell seven distinct scents on the road here. There was no one around and the field looked abandoned. I couldn't afford to get too close to the house, otherwise they would hear me. I had blocked Ness's ability, so I knew that the next day they would know that a vampire had spied on them, and they hadn't even known when it had happened .If they would try to track my scent for the second time, then they'd see that it lead to the Willamette river after which it disappeared all over again. They would be so puzzled. Luckily the wind was blowing towards me, so my scent wouldn't blow towards them.

I could hear noises from the house. I could hear the scraping of chairs. Clearly they were mid-discussion about something.

I heard Emmett say, "There is a vampire in the area, it's a vegetarian too. It was hunting in the forest, when we tried to approach it ran away. Now I can't track it, because it's scent just abruptly stops at the river. We need to look into this. This vampire could be a threat " Emmett sounded excited at the prospect of a fight.

I heard Alice's voice after that. She sounded worried. Her voice wasn't as high as I remembered. Nostalgia swept through me and I bit my bottom lip to stop my breath from hitching. She said "I can't see this vampire, it's immune or something. It's scent disappeared on the other side of the river, like Emmett said, and it managed to run away without revealing its identity," I almost felt guilty for causing them so much of worry. I leaned my head against a tree on my side.

I heard Esme's sweet voice then, "Alice, it hasn't attacked us. It ran away. Clearly he or she is scared of us. " Carlisle interrupted her then, "There are seven of us, and this vampire is alone, the vampire isn't a threat to us, and I don't want to scare it. It's clearly a vegetarian , so we don't have to worry about the humans here." Ah. Carlisle was still the same peace loving man. Calm, yet with an aura of leadership. His voice was subtly commanding, though he never took anybody's choice away. His charisma drew people in.

I heard Jasper's rough yet melodic voice then, "I don't want Alice to be in any danger, Carlisle." I rolled my eyes. I wasn't going to hurt them. I heard Rosalie's voice then, "We had a similar discussion not so long ago, about she-who-must-not-be-named." Who?. Rosalie read Harry Potter? Cue almost audible gasp. Anybody who reads Harry Potter can't be that bad of a person. " I hate that you have to call her that, what's up with these harry potter references?" There, she didn't like Harry Potter, She was a bitch again.

I heard a gasp. Alice yelled at Rosalie, "do you have to be so insensitive?"

I heard Jasper groan, "Not again." I hated not knowing things. Gah, who is she-who-must-not-be-named, and what was happening again. I gritted my teeth in irritation. I almost let out a exasperated growl, but stopped myself in time. I wouldn't want them to discover me here. It's like they were purposely leaving out facts, just to annoy me.

I heard Esme say " Edward dear, do you have anything that you want to add?" I didn't hear a reply. I strained my ears to hear a reply. I yearned to hear his honey like voice, it was like a spider web, deadly, and once caught it by it, it would render you incapable of escaping. He was silent. I nearly begged him to answer, myself. Instead of hearing his voice I heard Rose's, " Oh wow, that's great advice Edward. Stop shaking your head, use the great gift of voice Edward and tell us something, anything." Her voice was laced with sarcasm, but I detected a hint of anxiety in there.

I heard Alice growl. I heard a whoosh of air and then a loud bang. "How dare you?" Alice screeched. Very soon her voice would only be heard by bats and dolphins. I heard Emmett then, "Alice let go of Rose, please Alice, Rose didn't mean it like that, that's right. Rose that wasn't very nice, you should apologize." Emmett's tone was calming.

"I'm sorry," I had never heard Rose apologize before. What was going on?. I heard Esme sigh. "Rose, Alice, please for the sake of the family, stop. If you need to hash this out, please go to the woods and settle it." I smiled. Esme sounded just like me. What was up with Alice and Rosalie? I knew they had their differences, but what was so bad that they needed hashing out?

"You know what, that's a great idea, let's go." "Absolutely not," Alice and Emmett said at the same time. "

"You see the future Alice, my wife will be at a disadvantage. Besides, fighting is not going to change anything," Grr. Change what?

I heard a sigh. It sounded so familiar. I was immediately thrust back into a wave of memories of golden eyes, and copper hair. Of cold hands over warm skin. Of hard unyielding lips on soft ones. Of crooked grins and a velvet voice. He didn't say anything though. I clamped my hand over my mouth. Feelings of hurt and betrayal rushed over me. The pain was exactly like the one I felt, when he was leaving me in the forest. It felt like déjà vu. The feelings of hurt and betrayal left me breathless.

I squeezed my eyes shut. I heard Carlisle then , "Stop it, both of you. Alice, Rosalie that's enough. Edward your eyes are dark. You should hunt, will you go today...No? Okay then you have to go tomorrow, no excuses...good" Why wasn't Edward talking. What was wrong with him? Why was everyone having one-sided conversations with him.

(%%%%)

It was time to go home. Masen and Ness would be wondering where I was, and I didn't want to tell them where I had been. I suddenly had an idea. I didn't want the Cullens to view me as a threat. When they would come out onto the road, they would surely smell my scent, and be alarmed. I didn't want them to leave or something because of me.

I quickly ran to a stationary shop, that was 15 minutes away from the Cullen' house. I stole a sheet of paper, a pen and a thumbtack. Well you couldn't call it stealing, I left money on the counter. I ran back and pinned a note there. It read :

**Dear Cullens,**

**I am not a threat, please don't view me as one. You might smell my scent in the woods, tracking it won't do any good. I'll stay out of your way. Maybe in time I'll be able to reveal myself. I don't mean any harm.**

**Best wishes,**

**M.S**

The M.S stood for Marie Swan. I didn't want to put my real initials down.

I went back to the Willamette River, let Ness's ability change me back into a human, and walked away. Clouds were rolling in and it was drizzling. I knew that there would be heavy rain, and that would dilute my human scent and the scent of other humans would make my scent almost unrecognizable.

It was late at night. Around 3'O clock. I received some catcalls from some of the men on the road. If I was human, I would have cowered in fear, put my hood up and walked away, very fast. But I wasn't human, so I smirked at them. They were all bark and no bite anyway. They didn't scare me. I could kill them in milliseconds.

I rounded the corner to my house, when I saw Masen coming towards me. He looked all wide eyed and flustered. His nose was wrinkled and he was frowning. He looked disgusted. I immediately used my vampire speed and ran to him. I couldn't help but be worried.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"You don't want to go the house right now. Maybe after an hour or two.." He replied.

"Why?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Ness and Jake are having some alone time...They're loud.." He shuddered.

I cringed in disgust. YEWW. I didn't want those images in my head. I was a bit nauseous. "Oh, umm.. what do you want to do?"

"Sit here. I don't want to go anywhere near the house right now." Masen replied.

"I'll sit here with you," I smiled at him. I sat down on the deserted side walk and pulled him close. He let out a huge yawn. I pulled his head down on my thighs, and ran my hands through his hair. "You're sleepy. Sleep sweet heart."

"I'm fine," he mumbled. His eyes had already shut, his face was beginning to relax. "Where were you, we came back and you were gone, Jake said that he didn't know where you had gone?" He asked.

I tensed. "I went hunting," I lied. I didn't sound very convincing. 25 years of vampirism had made me a very good liar, but I couldn't lie to my children. It made me feel uncomfortable. Masen's eyes flew open. He frowned.

"You're lying. Gosh mom, you're a terrible liar. If you didn't want to tell me, you should have just said so. Besides you went hunting today morning," he was hurt.

"I'm sorry" I murmured. He waited for me to tell him where I went. When I didn't, he pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. I needed to distract him, before he realised what I had been up to.

"You and Ness should go hunting with Jake after they're done with their alone time." I told him. It worked.

"We'll go tomorrow morning," Damn it. Edward was going to go hunting tomorrow morning.

"No the Cullens are going to go hunting tomorrow, "I said.

He raised an eyebrow at me, "How do you know that?" I gulped. Crap. It had slipped out.

"Of course they'll go tomorrow. College starts the day after that and they'll need to hunt to be around so many humans." I told him. Brilliant save.

He looked up at me with knowing eyes. Like he knew I had gone to the Cullen house. I'm pretty sure he suspected it. I looked at him steadily, and my face didn't give anything away.

"Why can't we have the donated blood?" I sighed. We always kept some donated blood in the basement in a cooler, in case of emergencies. I never had them, but Masen and Ness did at times. I had a supplier in Brazil. I had never tasted human blood, but Masen and Ness loved it.

"Because it's for emergencies, and I don't encourage it." The last time they had human blood was when Masen and Jake had gotten into a fight, and Jake had ripped Masen's wrist right off. Masen yelled so loud, I'm pretty sure that the Martians on mars had heard him. I had immediately given him human blood, and had held his wrist against his arm. The human blood increased the rate at which he healed. Being a half-vampire, it had taken him about two minutes. Masen's ability had drawbacks though, like he couldn't use it on himself and he couldn't heal if he was agitated or nervous.

"Nobody had to die for it" He said petulantly.

"Do you know how expensive it is, to illegally import blood bags. I can't import too much at once. Plus I had to tell him not put the normal anticoagulants in it, because according to you and Ness it tastes like bleach. I had to the tell him to put warfarin to stop coagulation and not Hirudin. Besides importing it is illegal, so I have to pay a very high price to some custom officers."

He rolled his eyes. "Fine, we'll go with Jake."

"And make sure Jake covers up your tracks, I don't want the Cullens to track your scent," I said.

"Won't they smell Jake's werewolf scent and realise that a werewolf resides here?" He asked.

"No, the combination of your scent, Ness's scent and Masen's scent leaves a scent that is almost like that of a human's. The Cullens would think that they were hiker scents." I was very careful, when it came to their safety and identity.

"Oh" He closed his eyes. Within 15 minutes, his breathing evened out and he was asleep. He looked so peaceful.

Two hours later I gently tapped Masen's shoulder. He let out a small groan and opened one eye. He looked so adorable like this. He sat up slowly. His hair was all messy. I tried to pat his hair down, but he pushed my hair away, "Mom, stop, it's sex-hair. It's like a beacon to all girls." He mumbled. He was barely articulate. He was almost nodding off. I held his hand and hoisted him up. "I know, you're father had sex-hair, it practically begged to be tugged on"

He shuddered. "I would like to think that me and Ness were born out of immaculate conception."

"Keep dreaming," I snorted.

"Mom, can I ask you something?" He asked.

"Yes you can" I replied.

"Are you okay, with us meeting our father. I don't like him very much, but he is my dad. I want to meet him, to see what kind of a person he is, but every time I think about him, I'm filled with this anger. He abandoned you and never looked back." He looked at me, in my eyes.

"Yes I am, besides I'm not just doing this for you. I need some closure. Our relationship ended rather abruptly, and I want to know what happened exactly. I need to know if he's capable of being a father. Before I know that, I'm not going to tell him about you all." My voice was composed.

He nodded. We walked forward until the house came into our view. I could hear elevated heartbeats and heavy breathing. I entered the house and found Jake's pants and Ness's shirt on the steps. I scowled. They was no question about what they were up to.

"Ness, Jake put your clothes on and come downstairs." I yelled. I sat down on the couch and switched the news channel on. I needed to see the state of the stock markets. The recession had really hit hard upon the stock market, and I had lost quite a lot of money. 15 minutes later they both came bounding down the stairs. Jake had a relaxed aura about him. He had a goofy grin on his face. Jeez all men were the same. They all would have the same expression after sex. Ness looked flushed.

I pursed my lips at them and raised an eyebrow. Ness had the decency to looked ashamed. Jake just grinned and shrugged at me. I shut my eyes and shook my head. "You three are going hunting, and while you're at it, Jake I need you to cover as much of my human scent as possible. I don't want the Cullens to smell it."

"Why now? I want to sleep " Ness whined.

"College starts day after tomorrow and the Cullens will go and hunt tomorrow most probably, so you guys will have to get it over with today. Drink as much as you can, because you won't be going hunting for a while." I didn't want the Cullens to catch Ness and Masen hunting. That would lead to a whole lot of questions, that I wouldn't want to answer. They left after that.

(%%%%)

Ness and Masen had come back from hunting 3 hours ago. I had used the time to take care of some female needs to relax myself. I could always count on my trusty rabbit. It had been carefully placed inside a box of matchsticks that I kept in the drawer where I kept my delicates.

I was looking critically at set of clothes that I had picked out to wear to college. I wanted to look like something out of Edward's wet dream. I wanted him to regret leaving me. I wanted him to see how much I had changed. I had chosen tight black leather pants, a red halter neck top and a pair of bright red Christian Louboutin lady peep slings. I would look more like a college student than a teacher there. I didn't look a day over 21 even though I was 24, and with these clothes I would look even younger. Tomorrow I'd put on a bit of eyeliner and lip gloss. I would ride my Harley Davidson to college. My bike was black and a CVO breakout. He'd probably be in shock .

I was going to reach college a little later than usual, because I didn't want Edward to see me before classes started. I had a feeling that he would leave, if he knew that I was going to be teaching there. I had looked at the student roster that the principal had given me, and I was teaching all 5 Cullens at some point or the other, throughout the week. Tomorrow I would have Edward in first period and Rosalie in third period.

Jake suddenly barged in through my bedroom door. "Jake knock before you enter." I growled.

"Have you seen my dark blue shirt?" He asked me. What was it with men. They could never keep track of their belongings.

"You threw it in the laundry hamper," I rolled my eyes. "You should put a GPS on your belongings, that way you won't have to ask me every 10 minutes." I laughed.

He looked down at my bed, his eyes widened when he saw what I had planned to wear tomorrow. He whistled. " What would your father think Isabella Marie Swan." He waggled his eyebrows at me. I smacked him on the head. "Ness, come here, check out what your mother plans on wearing to college tomorrow." He yelled.

"Shut up Jake" I whisper -yelled.

"Trying to impress someone? Hmm.." He whispered back. Before I had a chance to reply back Ness and Masen walked in. They both looked down at the bed. Both of their mouths widened. "You're going to go to college dressed like that mom, absolutely not. You'll look like a student. Do you know the number of boys who'll try to hit on you. Every boy is going to have a crush on you, and since I will be attending the same college, I'll have to interact with those boys, without killing them and burning their eyes," Masen said all of this in one breath. He looked horrified.

"I'm sure he'll be blown away," Ness looked at me and cocked an eyebrow at me, daring me to ask her who would be blown away. She knew exactly why I had chosen to dress up like this. I didn't want to hide the fact that I was dressing up like this for him. "I know he'll be blown away," I winked at her.

"Who'll be...Oh," Masen's eyes widened when he realised who we were talking about. He cleared his throat. "Please, at least wear a jacket." The whole point of the top was to show off some skin. I nodded. I didn't tell him I would be wearing a leather jacket only on the bike.

"You'll look so hot, his brains will melt mom" Ness said. I smirked. " You should straighten your hair and wear those hoop earrings that I had gotten for you from the mall," She said.

All three of them left the room after that. I was anxious and jittery for tomorrow. I wanted him to find me attractive, I wanted him to regret leaving me. I had had self-esteem issues after he had left me, but over the years I had gotten over them. The appreciative looks that I would get from men had proved to me that I was attractive, but those self-esteem issues were coming back.

I needed to calm myself down, so I removed a CD from my cupboard. It had a jewel-case and was dented at the sides. It had scratches on the cover, which was a result of being kept under the floorboards. I wondered for the thousandth time, about why he had left his gifts behind. Why would he lie to me about taking away all reminders and then leave behind the photos and the CD. The CD had scratches due to overuse. I had a soft copy of it on my laptop, but I wanted to listen to the lullaby on the CD player. His hands had touched the CD and the jewel casing, which is why listening to the lullaby from the CD felt more special.

I played it and the notes soothed me. It made me feel relaxed. It was probably the closest that a vampire could come to sleep. Memories flashed through my head, like a movie. The first time I saw Edward, when I had thought he had looked beautiful. The first time Edward had touched me on my cheekbones, the searing heat of it. The first time he had kissed me in the meadow, the feeling of his lips on mine, his nose rubbing against mine. The slight tickling sensation his long lashes would create on my cheekbones, when he kissed me. I remembered the smell of him, it was intoxicating, like a drug. The first time he had told me he had loved me. The way he could make my heart beat like a hummingbird. The feeling of contentment and happiness I would feel when he would hold my hand. The way his hand fit in mine, like we were made for one another. The excitement I would feel when he would smile at me. I remembered the way he had felt on the night of my birthday. The intense look in his eyes, that had been darkened with lust. The way he sounded, and the way he had felt sliding in out of me.

I then saw the memories that I was dreading. The way his eyes were cold in the morning after my birthday, there was no emotion in his voice. He had looked at me like I was a stranger, like he didn't know what to say. He hadn't looked like himself. How he had told me in the forest that he didn't want me. His eyes had been hard. He had looked at me straight in the eye and told me he didn't love me. That he had distractions. I cringed in pain. The wounds that he had left behind were tearing open. It hurt. It felt like it had all happened just yesterday. I shoved my fist in my mouth and bit it, to stop any sound coming out. I didn't want any of them to know that I was crying upstairs.

I quickly put my shield up, so that I wouldn't cry. I didn't want them to smell the salt and come up to inspect. Silent sobs shook me. My lullaby was playing on loop, so it repeated itself. Edward Cullen had such a strong effect on me 25 years later.

(%%%%)

Ness was standing behind me straightening my hair. I looked hot. My hair was straight. I had eyeliner put thickly around my eyes. The eyeliner, bought out the golden flecks that I had in my brown iris. The dark colour of the eyeliner, made my cheekbones more prominent. I pinched my cheeks, to bring some colour into them. I wore a light lip gloss, that made my lips pouty and it made the pink in my lips stand out. My fingernails were long and painted blood red. My ass looked fantastic in the leather pants. I took the Marlboro cigarette and lit it. I practiced a couple of whiffs. It was easy. Inhale, hold it in and exhale it out through your mouth. It actually made me look hotter. It gave me this whole bad girl persona. I took a couple of deep breaths trying to steady my nerves.

"You can do this Bella, don't mess this up," I kept repeating it, muttering it under my breath. When I opened my eyes, Jake was standing behind me, "Remember Bella, just pretend to faint, if it's too much," Jake rubbed me on the back. "You look good," he said.

"It won't be too much, I got all dressed up for this, it would be such a waste to just faint." I rolled my eyes, trying to make light of the situation. Jake smiled at me. He bent down and kissed me on the forehead. "You can do this Bella, and you won't mess this up. Don't worry."

"Thanks, Jake. I should leave, can't be too late." I said.

"Go get him Bella" He murmured.

"I'm not going to go and get him Jake, he's already gone. All this is just to prove a point, that just because he had left me did not mean my world has crashed down, " Sadness coloured my tone. Jake merely smirked. "No man could fall out of love with you. You're very lovable. You're beautiful, kind, patient and most importantly you have a good heart. He's gay if he doesn't love you. Get him back. I miss seeing the light in your eyes. The last time I had seen it was at your high school prom" His voice sounded fairly confident.

"It all feels like it was an eternity ago doesn't it," I murmured. He nodded.

I walked out the room, my heels clacking on the floor. Took a deep breath and straddled my bike. I revved the engine, waved at Jake and zoomed forward on the streets. I could smell the cigarettes on me. The speed was exhilarating. I had put my hair carefully in the helmet, so that it wouldn't get ruffled.

It felt like the longest ride of my life. As anxious and nervous as I was about the whole situation, I wanted to see him. I went even faster. Cars were getting out of my way, because of the speed that I was driving in. I reached the college and parked my bike. I was later than usual so the parking lot was devoid of any children. I removed my helmet and tucked it under my arm. I locked my bike, removed my leather jacket and headed to my classroom. I checked on the shield that I had put around Masen and Ness. All the students who were in the hallway, stopped what they were doing and looked at me. The females looked jealous and the guys mouths popped wide open. They were all ogling me. I smiled at them.

One of the better looking boys, stepped forward. He looked confident. He stepped in front me. "Hey gorgeous, I'm Matt Mather, want me to show you around. I could show you places you've never been before." He gave me a smile, that I'm sure seemed very alluring to all the girls, but I couldn't help but laugh out. Vampires had photographic memories and I remembered seeing his surname on my biology classlist.

"I know my way around here thank you. I have physics first period then bio." I said. I smirked at him.

"Cool, even I have biology second period. I'll be the guy sitting in the third row," He winked at me.

"Cool, I'll be the lady teaching, standing in front. See you in bio." I smiled at him. He looked like he was in shock. In fact so did everyone else. I walked away laughing and headed to the first class. From the corner my eye I could see that the class was full. I could smell Edward's scent. I took in a deep breath, calming myself and filling my lungs with his beautiful scent.

I walked in and didn't even look at the class. I walked up to the large board in front of the classroom, and rubbed it. It had Mrs. Black written on it, in big bold letters. I took a blue marker and wrote the name Ms. Swan. I couldn't face the class as yet, so I walked to the corner of the room where there was a window. I cracked it open removed a cigarette and smoked. About a minute later, I snubbed out the cigarette and threw it out. I could feel eyes on me.

I turned towards the class, and I heard gasps all around me. They hadn't expected a teacher that looked like me I suppose. I heard a hiss. I knew it had come from Edward. I found my head turning to the side to seek him out. I stopped my head just in time. I composed myself. I went up to the mike. "Sorry about the smoking thing, I'm kind of addicted to it," the lie rolled off very easily off my tongue. " My name is Ms. Isabella Swan, just because I live with my ex-husband does not mean that we're married. My kids are attached to him. I know I look young but I'm 43 years old." I smiled at the class. I heard Edward's honey velvet voice. He said "Bella" under his breath. I heard the groaning of wood, like someone was holding it too tight.

I looked up at my students, sweeping my eyes from the right to left. My eyes then locked into wide topaz eyes, "Edward," I murmured under my breath.

* * *

**Please don't be mad at me, for leaving it like that. We see what happens with Edward and Bella next chapter. Okay, so some new stuff in this chapter. Bella's a shield and can protect herself against all abilities. Which is why Alice couldn't see her. Victoria has a power. Bella has killed a Volturi member. Alice and Rose are having issues and Edward's barely speaking. I'll post the next chapter, latest by Monday. I don't like to keep readers waiting for a chapter. I have posted links for the heels and Bella's bike on my profile. Until next time.**

**Lots of love to ya'll,**

**XOXO**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys. I had tried to post this chapter yesterday, but I couldn't log in. I think the server was down. Oh and everything in bold is in Quileute. **

**Guys I really want reviews, so that I can improve the story. I have this tendency to use too many commas. I also really really need a Beta. How exactly do I get one?**

**I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. I only like to play around me them. **

**Mood music to this chapter is- Thinking of you (Katy Perry), Try sleeping with a broken heart (Alicia Keys) and Diary of Jane (Breaking Benjamin).**

**See you in the bottom,**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

A little too late

Chapter 2

BPov

_I looked up at my students, sweeping my eyes from the right to left. My eyes then locked into wide topaz eyes, "Edward," I murmured under my breath._

My breathing sped up, and my hands started to shake. Tears filled my eyes, blurring my vision. We both stared at each other unblinkingly. At least I hadn't collapsed. I felt like we had entered into our own little bubble, where time lost any meaning, it felt like anything outside of our bubble didn't matter. I felt like the last 25 years didn't matter. He was here now.

Self-preservation instincts kicked in. I knew how much it had hurt when he had rejected me, when he had left me.

He didn't love me, and torturing myself any further would make me crazy. How many times could you break a heart, before it stopped beating. I couldn't let myself get lost in him. I shut my eyes to break the connection, took a deep breath and opened them again. I looked at his face, avoiding his eyes. He looked pale, paler than I had remembered him to be. He looked thinner, was it possible for us to get thinner. His eyes had large circles around them and there was tension on his face. His eyes spoke of immense pain. His clothes were wrinkled. His hair was unruly and he looked sick.

He still looked just as beautiful as before though. His strong jaw, lips, the tangle of hair on his forehead were all the same, but his eyes looked hollow. He looked like somebody was using the cruciatus curse on him.

Why did he look like that? Was he this disappointed to see me?

I had to protect my heart. I detached myself from the situation. His expression changed. He had a look of surprise written on his face. It was probably caused by the change in my expression. I saw the reflection of my face on the glass of the window to my side. My eyes looked cold, almost like Edward's eyes had looked in the forest.

The whole class was murmuring and staring between me and Edward. I cleared my throat. "I'm sorry, I just thought I recognised that young man sitting behind the blonde. I was obviously mistaken," I put as much venom as I could into the sentence. I converted my grief into anger.

"Right, so now that we've gotten that out of the way my name is Isa..." I heard someone stumble in through the door. I raised an eyebrow at the boy standing in the doorway. "What? I have bio," He said.

I sighed in exasperation, "No. You had physics with Prof. Petty" I said emphatically. I did not want him in my class. Especially this period, which his biological father attended, god knows what kind of mischief he'd get into. He turned towards the class, and every girl in the class sat up a little higher. I heard almost every girl in the room murmur how hot he was. I rolled my eyes. " It's Prof. Pettey, you drag on the e. It sounds like Petteee." He looked at me and raised his eyebrows.

"potato potahto, it's the same, he sounded pretty petty when he spoke to me," The whole class chuckled. Some student in this class would probably blab to him about how I insulted him. He was head of the science department and I'm sure I'd have to pay for this in some way.

"Can I get in now?" He asked.

"No, one, you're late and two, you have physics. You can't come in." I shook my head. The class looked a little puzzled at our interaction. I felt an odd sensation on Masen's shield. It felt like an odd buzzing sensation on the shield placed around Masen. I looked up at Edward and saw that he was focusing intently at Masen. He was trying to get a read on Masen. I smirked. Too bad, he wouldn't be able to read him. Not when he was in a 11 mile radius of me. Masen pouted, "I wanted to surprise you, that's why I lied about having physics."

What was he playing at? I pursed my lips. I saw Masen's head tilt towards Edward. He looked at Edward from the corner of his eyes. Masen's expression was composed, but I saw his eyes harden, and his eyes narrow minutely. I caught Masen's hand and pulled him towards the corner of the class. I spoke to him in a hushed whisper, "**I know why you decided to take this class, and I'm pretty sure you have physics. You need to leave."** I spoke to him in Quileute. ( A/N – In case you didn't read the note on top, conversations in bold, are held in Quileute.)

He smiled. "**Mom, I just wanted to see him, he's my father. Please. I won't do anything, I promise,"** He looked at me, his eyes pleading. How could I deny a request like that. He only wanted to see his father. I nodded, and gestured to an empty seat in the front.

"I want to sit at the back," He said in English. We had decided that anything related to werewolves, vampires and the Cullens would be said in Quileute and everything else would be spoken in English.

"No, I want you close to me," I touched his nose. The class's eyes widened. Edward looked immensely frustrated and irritated. Good. He couldn't read Masen's mind and know what we spoke about. I looked at Edward right in the eye, and smirked at him. His eyes widened and his eyes flicked between Masen and me rapidly, his brows furrowed. Masen didn't really look like me. Except for his hair colour and nose, that is. So he probably had not realised that I was Masen's mother. I almost laughed out loud at what one girl said to another girl sitting next to her, "are they having an affair. Like a teacher and a student. That's totes wrong, but he's hot."

I grimaced. I hated the word totes. The slangs that people had come up with really pissed me off. Would it kill them to use the whole word. Edward's posture stiffened. His mouth popped open and his head turned so fast to look at the girl who said it, that it blurred. He gave them a death stare. His eyes turned black, and I heard a low growl. The wood under his desk was cracking. I couldn't have him doing something stupid in my class. Masen's eyes too widened when he saw Edward's reaction.

"Easy, Edward. Calm." I muttered under my breath, soft enough so that no one but Edward and Masen could hear me. His posture started to loosen. He looked at me, but I ignored him. "And you, honey go and sit. But if you misbehave in any way you're in trouble." I gave him 'the look.'

All moms had 'the look.' It was a stare that meant that they were serious. It consisted of my eyes widening and a very serious and grim look crossing my face. My legs would shake when my mom would give me 'the look.'

"Fine, but stop giving me that look. It creeps the life out of me.." He shuddered.

He walked to his seat and sat down. The class was looking at me inquisitively. "That's my son," I said. The whole class nodded. They had the 'Oh, so that's what it is' look. Edward had an indecipherable expression on his face, as he scrutinised Masen. He looked sad and in pain all over again. If he was a human, I would have thought his stomach was aching, or his appendix had burst or something. He cringed in pain again. I was so tempted to send him off to the nurse.

"Okay, where was I.. yes, My name is Isabella Swan. Students who get above an A in this semester, can have the privilege to call me Bella and also dance with me at 'the end of semester' ball." The boys sat up straighter, clearly interested. "The girls will get 200 dollar gift cards, to shop at Avon, I kid you not. But only a very few will be able to get an A. If you even manage to get a B+ in my class you're very lucky. You're going to have to work very very hard. My son will get the same treatment. There is no room for partiality in my class, no matter who they are or what relation I have with them." I emphasized on the last point and looked pointedly at both Masen and Edward. Masen rolled his eyes and smirked. He would get an A or more, whether I wanted to give him one or not. He and Ness were brilliant when it came to academics. In fact they were good at almost everything.

A hint of a smile touched Edward's lips," You're going to have to save a dance for me Ms. Swan. I'm quite sure that I'll get an A," he said. I looked up at him sharply.

"That's up to me. 15% of your grade depends upon behaviour and attendance. Rain or shine, I want the students in the class. If for any reason you miss a class, I want a suitable reason for doing so. It's up to me, to either accept your reason or cut marks." I emphasized upon the words attendance and shine. His face fell. He knew that I had him there. The Cullens would have to miss classes on sunny days. "Oh, and if I don't like you, I'll be cutting marks for behaviour. Now that that's out of the way I want each and every one of you all to stand up and introduce yourselves. We'll start from pink there," I pointed at a girl who was decked out from head to toe in different shades of pink. She looked like gaudy icing a kindergarten girl would have on her birthday cake. I grimaced at the effect her clothes were having on my eye.

She stood up and glared at me. The class chucked under their breath. "My name is Delilah darling." She sounded a tad embarrassed. I would be too if my parents had named me Delilah Darling.

"That's your real name?" I asked her, just to clarify. Her parents were probably high, when they named her. She nodded.

"Girl, you need to find a nice man with a strong, good surname and get married. You should introduce yourself as Dell or something like that. Don't use the name Delilah, oh and dress better." I said. Her nostrils flared and she sat down with a huff. "Don't I know it" She said under her breath.

"Okay next.." One by one they started to introduce themselves, and I matched their faces to the roster that I had received.

One boy with a cap got up and started to introduce himself. "My name is Ray..." I interrupted him. "Take of your cap, there's no need for one in this class." I said sternly. He grimaced and reluctantly took his cap off. My eyes widened in shock. His hair was bright green.

"It was a prank that my friends played on me," he muttered. My mouth opened and closed.

"Put your cap back on, please" I said. I was horrified. He readily complied with my request. "Is it permanent?" I asked him. He shook his head.

"It'll come off in two days." He replied. Masen was snickering in the front seat.

"Please, keep the hat on till it wears off, " I said. Wow. He needed new friends.

The introductions continued until it was Masen's turn. He just kept sitting. I cleared my throat. "In case you don't understand English and in case you are so dim-witted that you don't know what we're doing right now, I am going to tell you in very simple language that you need to get up and introduce yourself" His behaviour was beginning to annoy me. Just because he was my son, did not mean that he could behave in any way that he wanted to. It reflected badly on me.

Masen looked startled by my outburst. "You know who I am, why do I need to introduce myself?" I clenched my fist.

"The students in the class don't know, please introduce yourself.." I trailed off. Dear lord, what was I going to do with him. He stood up and said, "Hey guys, I'm Masen Swan." He sat back down. Damn it. He was supposed to say Edward Masen Swan, so that Edward could link it with himself. I shook my head at his idiocy.

"Your full name," I said. My patience was wearing thin. Masen saw the expression on my face and realised that it wasn't the best time to contradict me. He sighed.

"Edward Masen Swan, but I don't like the name Edward because it sounds like the name a really old man would have. So call me Masen." Masen's head tilted towards Edward and I saw him trying to peek at Edward's reaction to this news. I saw Edward's head snap up, when he heard that my son's name was Edward Masen Swan. His eyes widened, and he froze. A myriad of expressions crossed his face. A few I could decipher, and the rest I couldn't understand.

There was shock, then confusion, then happiness, then sadness, then anger, until it finally settled into a strange look, that I for the life of me couldn't understand. His eyes penetrated into mine, seeking answers. My eyes were cold. I looked blankly at Edward. He needed to figure this one out on his own.

When it was Edward's turn he stood up straight and said, "Edward Anthony Cullen." He looked right at me when he said so. I feigned surprise. "You share my son's name. Do you share my son' view on the name Edward and go by the name Anthony, Mr. Cullen?"

He shook his head. "I like my name, and I am not ashamed to use it," there was no doubt as to who that jab was intended for. Masen's nostrils flared. "The name Edward suits some people and it doesn't suit some other people. I don't look like an Edward. It suits you. I am not ashamed to use it, I just think it's old fashioned. Tell me Edward how old are you?" Masen said. Surprisingly Masen's tone was calm. If anyone else had spoken about Masen like that, then that person would be on the floor right now, clearly Masen had some respect for his father, otherwise Masen would have raised his voice, and would have been much more rude.

My eyes widened. I didn't want them to dislike each other. I wanted Edward to accept Masen and Ness. Edward's voice rung out loud, "19." Edward looked scared for some reason. His eyes flicked between Masen and me , and then I realised that he thought that I had told Masen about vampires.

**"Stand down. I want him to accept you and Ness, not dislike you all. You think Ness would forgive you if Edward got upset because of this? He feels threatened, he thinks I've told you about vampires." **I hissed at him.

**"He would be a terrible father if he didn't accept us because of a disagreement. Besides he insulted me. "** Masen hissed back. The class couldn't hear the exchange between Masen and me, but they saw us hissing. Edward looked annoyed all over again. I felt him trying to penetrate my shield again. It was annoying me, I wish he would stop trying.

**"Don't give him any sort of impression, that you know what he is,"** I glared at Masen. Masen just turned away from me and Edward and looked ahead. His lips were pursed and he looked annoyed. He could give me all the attitude that he wanted to, but I was his mother, and Edward was his father. He couldn't speak to his father like that. I sighed in annoyance. This was not going to be easy.

"If both of ya'll have any problems, take it outside the class. I don't want any arguments in this class." I stared at both of them sternly.

I heard the bell ringing and I sighed in relief. The class started to get up to leave when I called out to them, " Just cause you all didn't study in this class doesn't mean that it'll be the same tomorrow. For tomorrow I want each and every one of you all to study chapter 1. From page 1 to 13. No arguments." Groans echoed around the class.

I saw Edward hang back, packing his things slowly, probably looking for an opportunity to talk to me. I wasn't prepared for that as yet, so I caught Masen's arm tightly and pulled him towards me. "OWW," Masen hissed under his breath.

"Sorry," I hissed at him.

**"Please, for my sake don't antagonize your father. Just because he didn't love me doesn't mean that he won't love you. He's a good man Masen. But I can't have him know about you guys before I know that he's responsible enough to be a father, or until he figures it out on his own, and I don't want him to know that you know about me and him okay. That age thing that you asked, shocked him. Didn't you see the expression on his face. Please be mature about this," **I pleaded. I knew Edward could hear everything we said, so I made sure not to use Edward's name in the conversation. He wouldn't be able to understand Quileute but if we used his name in our conversation, he would know that we were talking about him.

**"I'm not trying to antagonize him mom, I just can't understand how he just left you. I know you and Ness want this to work out, and so do I, so I'll try. But mom, how are you holding up. You seemed quite okay, except for at the beginning, where you guys were looking into each other's eyes. "** He said.

**"I'm fine, sweetheart. I'll go home and break some stuff, or I'll get Jake to brawl with me. It's just that I'm seeing him after 25 years, and it feels like my brain hasn't registered it yet. I'll be able to control my feelings though, don't worry about me sweetheart,"** I placed my hand on his cheek and kissed his forehead softly. Masen smiled at me, murmured a love you and walked out of the door.

Edward was still in the classroom, packing his stuff. He was literally moving in slow motion. "Don't you have a class to get to?" I asked him. He looked at me and cocked an eyebrow. "No, I have a free period, why, will you give me detention?" He smirked.

The look of pain had somewhat receded, and he looked healthier. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but I refrained.

I cocked an eyebrow at him and looked at him sternly. His expression altered, " What language were you and..." He paused and then continued, "your son conversing in?"

"Wouldn't you like to know, We like our privacy here, Edward. Learn to respect that, " my voice was acidic. His eyes were pained again. "We didn't know you would be here Bella, I promised you a life without any reminders of me," he whispered. His hands clenched and unclenched. His Adams apple bobbed up and down, and I had the urge to lick it. I pressed my nails against my palm, and tried to curb my amorous feelings.

"It's fine Edward. You wouldn't have known, but I would prefer if you kept away from our house," I murmured. I didn't really know what to talk to him about. He nodded. An awkward pause ensued. I had another twenty minutes before I would have to start preparing for my next class. I picked up a cigarette and lit it. The repetitive motion was rather relaxing. It also gave me time to gather my thoughts. Edward, who had been staring at my face like he was a dying man and I was the cure to death, pursed his lips in disapproval. His hands reached up to remove the cigarette. I backed away in shock. His proximity to me had made my emotions all jumbled up. I gasped, not because I didn't enjoy his proximity but because of how much I did. I craved it.

I looked pointedly at his arm, and he dropped it. He looked sad again. "When did you start smoking?" he asked me.

"A while ago," I replied. My voice was a faint whisper. I had to be in control of my emotions. I recalled the memory of him leaving me and turned the grief into anger.

"Did you receive my gifts?" I asked him. My tone was sarcastic and superior. That must have been a shocker. I smirked at him.

"The cars? Yes we did. I wanted to repay you but Alice hadn't allowed me to. I could pay you back though. It was unnecessary and it delivered the message of you not wanting the money," he sounded angry.

"I don't want nor need your money Edward, I've done quite well by myself," my tone was laced with anger.

"You're a teacher Bella," he said flatly.

How dare he belittle what I was doing. Even though my salary as a teacher wasn't much, he couldn't demean it. I was educating the future leaders of the nation. My nostrils flared. Edward's expression turned apologetic.

"I didn't mean it like that Bella, what I meant is that the salary of a teacher isn't that high," his tone was placating. I was a hairs breadth away from blowing my lid. I was this close to slamming him into a wall and throttling him.

"I own 36 high rise buildings and Jake has a good income," I said tightly.

Edward's face contorted with anguish suddenly. What was wrong with him? "Jake?" He asked.

"Ya, Jake. My ex-husband slash best friend," I replied nonchalantly. He composed his face and his expression turned neutral.

"You're divorced," he stated. His face was composed but his voice had a hint of relief. Hope for a future with him flared in me, and I squelched it down.

"Yes," I stated.

"What happened?" He asked.

"That's none of your business Edward. Jake still lives with us though. The kids are attached to him, especially Ness," I sounded vaguely amused. Edward would have had a heart attack if I told him how exactly Ness and Jake were attached. I still hadn't completely gotten used to the fact that my daughter and my best friend were a couple.

"Ness?" he asked.

"My daughter. She's studying here in Reed too," Edward's brow furrowed in confusion. "Their twins. Masen and Ness," I explained.

"What does Ness stand for?" He asked.

"Vanessa," I replied. Masen had tried to call her Nessy once and it had infuriated Ness. She hated the nickname Nessy because of the fact that the Loch Ness monster was called that. I smiled at the memory.

Edward's expression grew intense and his eyes darkened, "You named your son after me? Why would you do that?" He asked.

I pursed my lips. I couldn't tell him the real reason as to why I had named my son, Edward Masen. I puffed my cheeks and blew out a breath. It was a stalling technique. I was prepared for this question, but I didn't know how to word it properly. I didn't want to lie to him, and I couldn't tell him the complete truth either. "Why wouldn't I name him after you Edward? you played a very crucial part in my life. You changed its course. I..had loved you intensely Edward. You were a very significant and important person in my life and I thought it was fitting to name my son Edward Masen. I considered Anthony, but it didn't suit him. He likes to be called Masen though. He thinks the name Edward is a little old fashioned though," I almost said I love you intensely, but somehow had managed to change it to past tense.

"Oh," he sounded disappointed. He picked up his hand and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.

"You're happy. My leaving was for the best," he replied. His voice was low and he sounded like he was in pain again. He couldn't be more wrong, but I didn't tell him anything.

"I have another class Edward, I should leave. You need to get to class too," I murmured. He nodded but made no move to leave. I packed my books and walked out of the class. I could sense Edward behind me, but I didn't look at him.

I smelled Masen's scent. He came out of the boys washroom and his eyes widened when he took in the sight of me walking in front of Edward.

"What are you doing out of class?" I asked him. Edward had stopped behind me.

Masen shrugged, "What do you think I was doing?" he asked me. I sighed.

Masen turned fully towards Edward and my eyes widened with alarm. What was he going to do now? I pinched his arm but he ignored me.

"I wanted to apologize for making you uncomfortable in class Edward," Masen said. I was surprised. Masen hardly ever apologized to anyone but me, and I wasn't expecting this. My eyes flitted between them. A smile crept up upon my lips. The fact that Masen had apologized to Edward was a huge step for him.

"It's fine. I apologize for hinting at the fact that you were ashamed to use your name," Edward replied.

Masen grinned and his eyes grew mischievous. Uh Oh. What was he up to?

"So, Edward do you like girls or boys?" He asked. My eyes bugged wide open and my jaw nearly dropped to the floor. What the fuck was wrong with him? Edward had a very uncomfortable look on his face, like someone had asked him to eat human food.

"Masen's joking, aren't you Masen?" I said through gritted teeth. I widened my eyes at Masen.

"What? Generally boys as good looking as Edward are gay," he said in an innocent manner. What was Masen getting at? His behaviour was pissing me off, and I was going to have a chat with him when I got home. No, in fact I was going to smack him, hard on the back of his head the moment Edward was out of earshot. I tapped my foot on the marble floor. Students passing by through the hallway stared blatantly at me.

Edward's posture stiffened, "No, I am not gay. Are you?" I snorted. Masen was a huge ladies man. I couldn't imagine a Masen that didn't like girls. The notion was so absurd, that it was almost unimaginable. Edward sounded rather panicky though, probably because Masen's questioning sounded a lot like he was trying to flirt with Edward. It was rather disturbing actually.

"Hah, course not. But I'm glad you're not gay. There are tons of girls here, who could show you a good time. I could introduce you to them," Edward's expression turned to that of irritation. I was shocked. What was Masen doing? Even the thought of Edward with another girl caused me immense pain. I glared at Masen.

"No thanks, I'm not looking for any type of a relationship," Edward said. He grimaced and shifted on his feet. Masen half smiled and looked at me. I gasped as I realised why he had asked Edward this question. It was a test, to see if Edward was interested in a relationship or not.

"Oh, so you have a girlfriend then?" Masen asked. I held my breath for Edward's answer.

Edward shook his head, and I felt relief flood through me. Masen just said whatever kissed my cheek and left, but before leaving he murmured, **"You can thank me later," **in my ear.

I smiled, shook my head and faced Edward. He was still a little wide eyed. "Ignore him. He's shameless with the girls," I said.

Edward nodded.

The biology class came into view, and I turned towards it. I felt like I was leaving a part of myself with Edward. I took a deep breath, squared my shoulder and walked away from him. My bottom lip had begun to quiver, and I clenched my fist to keep my composure, then I heard Edward walk swiftly towards me. I turned around and saw an intense expression cross his face.

He raised his hand, and swept it across my cheekbone, his eyes tender and intense. The gesture was so familiar, and I was transported to a time when he would say goodbye to me like this. The tenderness and familiarity of the gesture made me gasp. He abruptly turned and walked away, but not before I heard his breath hitch.

I was in a daze when I entered the biology class. His touch elicited so many feelings in me. I wanted to walk towards him and kiss him.

Damn it. I couldn't handle this emotional overload right now. I was considered feigning fainting, when students started to trickle in. I noticed Matt Mathers among them. He was trying to hide behind two other boys and walk to the back of the classroom.

I smirked. Poor boy.

"Matt," I called out. He looked at me. I pointed to a seat in the front row and tilted my head towards it. He had a helpless expression on his face.

"Yes ma'am," he said hurriedly. He walked to the front of the room and almost tripped on his shoe laces. I snorted. He sat down and bowed his head. He was doing everything that he could do to avoid meeting my eyes. He was probably still embarrassed because of the whole 'flirting with a teacher in the hallway' thing.

I made them all introduce themselves and gave them some light reading to do. Just before the bell rang signalling the end of the period, I called attention to myself and said, "If any student here would like a tour of the campus, please ask Mr. Mathers here. He'd show you places you've never been before." I winked at Matt and started to gather my stuff. The whole class broke out in laughter. I looked at Matt from the corner of my eye and saw that he looked mortified. I chuckled, and exited the classroom after the bell rang.

I entered the washroom that fell to my right and took a moment to steel myself. My next classroom would have another Cullen in it, and this Cullen didn't even like me. I looked up at the mirror and sighed. I was starting to resemble the girl I had left behind 25 years ago. Edward's presence had changed the way I carried myself. I could see the low self-confidence and self-esteem issues start to bubble up. I could see it through my shoulders, hunched inwards and the way my chin tilted down.

I washed my face with cold water, smoked another cigarette and went for my next class. I was late and the students were already seated. The classroom was noisy and almost all of them were talking about the 'hot teacher' that was supposed to teach them. I could already sense the presence of another vampire.

I walked into the class and introduced myself. I could see Rosalie's blonde hair at the corner of the room, but I chose to ignore it for the moment. I asked them all to introduce themselves and when it was Rosalie's turn, she introduced herself as Rosalie McCarty. I looked at her for the first time, and as usual her beauty made me feel inadequate. My self-esteem took an even bigger hit. I had mastered the art of keeping my face devoid of emotion, and I stared at her steadily. As usual, her eyes were filled with malice, but I saw slight fear in there too. She wasn't surprised to see me in the class, which meant news of me being here must have travelled quite fast. I wondered how Alice would have reacted to the news. It would probably have been the first time that she wouldn't have been able to predict something happening.

I unconsciously smirked at the thought. Rosalie had probably thought that I was smirking at her, and she glared at me. I kind of understood why Rosalie was jealous of me. I remembered Edward explaining it to me 25 years ago, while playing the piano. His fingers caressing ebony and ivory. She was jealous of my humanity. There's a saying that says 'you don't appreciate something until you lose it.' I couldn't agree more with that statement. At that point of my life when I was human, had warmth and life in me I didn't understand what he had meant. I couldn't understand Rosalie's jealousy. It had befuddled me, puzzled me. She had everything. The looks, a loving mate, money and she would forever be young. Motherhood was something that I couldn't understand. I had never wanted children, because the only frame of reference that I had to that was my mother, and it was me that was always mothering her. She was like a child, forgetting to pay the bills, changing jobs. I was the responsible one. So when Edward explained her problem with losing the ability to mother a child to me, I hadn't known what to think. Now after I was stripped of my humanity, I finally understood. My life circled around my kids, it centred and revolved around them. I couldn't imagine life without them and I would give Edward up a hundred times to be with them. The joy of motherhood was greater than anything under the skies. To not be able to experience it was horrible.

I missed my humanity. I missed the ability to sleep, to dream and just forget everything for a while and shut my brain off. Humans were so oblivious to dangers surrounding them. Vampires and werewolves existed and lived among them, and they didn't even know. They had the ability to live their lives, being oblivious to all of this. They lived and died happily, without fear. Meanwhile I was the leader of my family. I always had to keep an eye out for other vampires, make sure we were not exposed. I had to mind all of my movements and make sure I didn't move too fast. I always had to make sure we were never there when humans got hurt and when blood was spilled. I was always worrying, whether it was about exposure, about my children, Ness's relationship with Jacob or about the Volturi, and when I was not worrying I was thinking of Edward. Wondering if whether we were staring at the same stars in the sky, and if whether he had moved on.

Humans had it so easy. They were fickle, or maybe it was a gift to cope with life. They fell in and out of love so easily. They dated, fell in love, broke up, moped for a while and then moved on. Meanwhile vampires were set in their motions. If they loved someone, then that was it. They would never ever fall in love with someone else. Mates in the vampire world were permanent. I loved Edward before I was changed, and I woke up still in love with him, and that was it, and it was that love that had resulted to the anguish and mental pain of unrequited love, and it would be that way for forever.

Rosalie had a mate though, and she could always adopt like Esme had if she had such a great issue about losing motherhood.

I compared my life with hers. My life was never monotonous. Ness, Masen and Jake made sure of that. Meanwhile the Cullens had to move to place to place, because of their unchanging appearance. Humans shied away from them and they could only interact properly with vampires. This wasn't the case for us. Our appearance was human-like. We interacted freely with them, with almost no reservations. To them our skin wasn't cold and hard to touch. We had Ness to thank for it though. Their life was so monotonous. They always had to be reserved. Refrain from touching humans, and giving too much away.

My eyes softened and I did something that I had never done before. I smiled at Rosalie. It wasn't a half-assed smile, but a real smile. Her brows furrowed in surprise. I turned away from her and continued to teach the class. I understood her hate, her jealousy and I felt nothing but sympathy for her. I didn't look at her for the rest of the class but I felt her eyes on me. I could smell Emmett' s scent all over her, and I could guess why. I grimaced.

The bell rang, and I gave them some reading to do. Rosalie hung back. I was gathering my things when she walked towards me. I looked up and waited for her to say something.

"Well , well if it isn't Isabella Swan," She said.

"Hello Rosalie," I replied back. I could be a bitch if I wanted to be one. I wasn't scared or intimidated by her. Just because I understood the reason for her hating me, did not mean that she had free license to talk to me in whatever way she wanted to. She was trying to intimidate me by staring me down. It didn't work, and clearly she was surprised.

"Edward said you were here, when I bumped into him after first period. By now the whole family knows," she said. She was hoping to get a reaction out of me. I was not going to give her that satisfaction. I merely cocked an eyebrow at her and waited for her to continue.

"I'm a bit concerned about your being here. It's clearly affected Edward and, also, you know everything about us," she said.

"If Edward had a problem, with my being here, then surely he can say so. He has a mouth to speak, and about the issue about me being here, I was here first, my children study here. Edward left me, knowing that I knew about your kind, he took the risk," I paused and took in a breath," Do you need anything Rosalie, or are you here to try and get a reaction out of me. Or did you think that my being here, would take the lime light off of you," I sneered. She raised her eyebrows appreciatively.

"You're stronger than before. Good. You've finally grown yourself a backbone. And as for the limelight. After we left the lime light was never really on me." She said. She turned away from me and started to walk away.

"Rosalie.." I called out. She turned towards me, " I am not the same person who Edward left in the forest, who you all abandoned. I don't trust any of you, but I want you to tell Jasper that I forgive him, and tell Alice not to see my future," I said. I never really blamed Jasper for what had happened on the day of my birthday, and now that I was a vampire I understood the his reactions to my blood. It wasn't his fault. As a vegetarian vampire we had to constantly fight against our instincts, our body. If I was in Jasper's position I might have done the same thing. And as for the 'seeing the future' thing, I didn't want Alice trying to see into my future and then wonder why she couldn't see us. My whole family was under my shield.

"I'm not a messenger, Bella, but I will pass on the message," her eyes grew softer," You're doing the right thing Bella, You have kids and that's something you wouldn't have ever gotten if you had stuck with Edward, I wish someone could have given me a choice between vampirism and humanity," She said wistfully.

My temper stirred, "Rosalie, if Carlisle hadn't saved you, you would have died. You wouldn't have had kids because you'd be dead, and you would never have met Emmett. You would never have been able to save Emmett. He would have died, become one of the hundreds of people who died due to animal attacks. Would you give him up so that you can get your humanity back, can you imagine living in a world where Emmett did not exist.? Can you even imagine letting him die? I'm sure Emmett would never say this but your attitude probably hurts him," I said brusquely. I crossed my hands over my chest and awaited for her answer.

Her eyebrows rose in surprise and she bit the inside of her cheek, mulling over what I had just said, and then she smiled. She looked so beautiful smiling, so radiant, that it almost hurt to look at her, " You have guts, to talk to a vampire like that I'll give you that. No, I would choose Emmett over humanity. I wouldn't be able to imagine a world without him. It hurts to even think about it. I suppose you're right. But Bella you are human, your feelings aren't permanent. You eventually moved on. You have kids, you have a husband," She explained. She really meant what she said.

I smiled. She had no idea about my feelings for Edward, " Don't demean human emotion Rosalie, I did love Edward very much. He chose to leave me. Human's have the ability to move on, it's true, but that doesn't mean they don't hurt. The scars on their heart remain for their whole lives Rosalie. You don't know anything about my feelings... and I'm divorced," I said and walked away, I crossed Emmett when leaving the class. He hadn't heard our conversation though. He had just arrived. He looked at me, but I ignored him, pretending to not have seen him.

I rounded the corridor and I could hear Rosalie and Emmett talking behind me. Emmett was so boyish and fun, and even he had abandoned me. I sighed and rubbed my chest. There was a void in there, a piece of me missing and it constantly ached.

"What happened?" I heard Emmett say.

"We just spoke Emmett nothing else. I wasn't even rude to her. In fact she gave me a piece of her mind. She explained some things to me," Rosalie said. I could hear the smile in her voice.

"That's the Bella we know," He said. I closed my eyes. They didn't know this Bella. That Bella was naive, innocent and got treated like a doormat. This Bella was strong, kickass and wouldn't be treated like a doormat.

"She isn't the same Bella. She said so herself. She's stronger, she has kids and she's divorced. She even helped me understand some things. She told me that she doesn't trust us, and she wanted me to tell Jasper that she forgave him," Rosalie said.

"Oh, that night has always haunted Jasper. It's a good thing that she forgave him. Jasper blames himself for everything," I heard him say. I didn't want to hear anything else about the Cullens so I hurriedly walked away.

I had four more classes left. I didn't have any of the other Cullens in my classes, so they passed by smoothly. The last bell rang, signalling the end of classes. I collected my things and walked out. Students milled around me, the locals going to the car park to go home, and the others heading to the dorms. The scent of so many students overwhelmed me, and I held my breath. I walked to the front office to sign the teachers sheet. Through the glass doors there, I could see the students collect in groups at the car park, where they all were gossiping and checking out other student's cars. Seeing who had the most amount of money.

I saw the students appreciatively checking out my bike, which made me snort. They had no idea who the bike belonged to. They were all drooling over Ness's and Masen's cars. Both their cars were parked side by side.

Masen and Ness had chosen to drive the same type of cars to school. They both had about fifteen cars, but most of them were in storage. They both brought their Mercedes SLS AMG roadsters. Ness's was cherry red in colour and Masen's was white in colour. Their cars were quite awesome. I owned one in black, but mine was in storage. I had chosen to bring my Harley, my red Jaguar F type and my Mazerati with me to Portland. I drove them according to my mood. The Audi was Jake's.

I saw the Cullens admiring my children's cars. Jasper ran his hand over the bonnet appreciatively. I walked out of the office onto the parking lot. My helmet and leather jacket was in Masen's locker, and I was waiting for them to get here. I had Ness and Masen's car keys with me. It was a precautionary measure that I took so that they wouldn't cut classes. The Cullens looked up at me when I came outside. I looked away from them so that they wouldn't know that I had seen them. I had had enough interaction with the Cullens for one day. I just wanted to go home and relax. Let my feelings out. My chest was hurting, because of all the emotional suppression that I was doing.

I was tapping my feet, waiting for Masen. Where were they? I could hear the Cullens conversing.

"I want to go, talk to her," I heard Alice say. I clenched my fist. Praying to god that she wouldn't do so.

"I think she's had enough for today, I'm sure it must have been a shock for her to see us here. Give her some time, besides she doesn't want to talk to us. She doesn't trust us anymore," I heard Rosalie say. I heard a collective gasp from the rest of the Cullens.

"You're standing up for her?" Alice asked.

"I guess I am. She's grown up to be a good person. She's stronger, and no longer lets us steamroll her, especially you and Edward. She doesn't want you to see her future, oh and she forgave Jasper," Rosalie said nonchalantly.

"What?" I heard Jasper say.

"That was nice of her to do," Emmett said.

"I can't feel her emotions, why can't I feel her emotions? I am trying to send her feelings of gratitude. It's like there isn't anyone standing in the space where she is," Jasper sounded frustrated and puzzled. I smiled. There was a brief pause in their conversation.

"I can't see her future. Uggh. Why can't I see her future?," Alice shrieked. My eyebrows rose.

"Maybe it's like how Edward can't read her mind," Emmett explained. Emmett had come the closest as to why they couldn't get a read on me.

"But we could use our abilities on her before," Alice said. She sounded very worried.

"Maybe her mental shield grew with age. It evolved or something," Emmett said.

Finally I heard Ness and Masen approaching me. Masen carried my helmet, leather riding jacket and my motorcycle fingerless gloves. They were coming from the direction where the Cullens stood and I turned to face them. I could see the Cullens from the corner of my eye. They tilted their bodies trying to face me. I could see Alice trying to catch my eye. They were carefully eyeing me. They saw Masen and Ness and their eyes widened. I saw them studying both of my kids.

Ness and Masen approached me. "Keys," they said simultaneously. I threw the keys at them, and they both caught it. I took my riding gear from them and I heard the Cullens gasp.

"Holy shit, the bike is Bella's," I heard Rosalie say.

"Bella rides a bike? Since when?" I heard Emmett say.

Masen and Ness walked towards their cars and stared at the Cullens pointedly so that they would move away from their cars. Ness gave them a long look, studying them. She didn't say anything though.

"Your cars?" Jasper asked them. They both nodded.

"Holy shit Bella bought these amazing pieces of machinery for her kids, damn. When did she become so cool, riding a bike and all that?" Emmett said. Alice had remained quiet.

I walked to my bike and put my jacket on and wore the gloves.

"God, that's sexy," Emmett said. I heard Rosalie smack Emmett and I heard Edward snarl.

"She completely changed. She's a different person. What happened to her?" Alice murmured. Her voice was laced with sadness.

I wore my black helmet and closed my eyes. She was right, I was a different person. Edward had killed the happy and innocent girl. Tears filled my eyes and I bit my bottom lip. I took in a deep breath, and told myself to stay strong. I would have plenty of time to break down when I got home. I turned the key, flipped on the ignition switch and revved my bike, I could see Edward looking at me with his jaw wide open. I bet he was regretting leaving me when he saw me perched on the bike looking all sexy. I smirked.

Ness and Masen zoomed out of the parking lot accelerating from 0 to 150 mph within seconds. Their cars blurred. They had both switched off the engine silencer and their cars zoomed forward. The sound of the car made Rosalie moan. "Holy shit," she murmured. I smiled and switched off the silencer on my bike, so that my bike could make the sound too. The vroom sound was literally one of the hottest sounds that I had ever heard.

"Bella lets her kids drive like that, damn she's so awesome," Emmett said. I smiled.

I revved the bike and kick started it. Edward swore and his eyes roamed my figure. I nearly laughed out loud. He suddenly started walking forward towards me.

"Bella," he said, when he was next to me. I nodded at him so that he would know that I was listening. My helmet lid was put down so he couldn't see the pained expression on my face.

"Riding the bike is dangerous Bella, I'll have Alice take it. You can ride with us," he said. I heard Rosalie groan and saw Jasper put his palm on his forehead. I heard Alice mutter 'idiot' and Emmett grimaced.

Was he serious. I snorted. He was not my father, it had been 25 years since we spoke properly and here he was trying to dictate what I do and not do. I shook my head. "You have no right to tell me what I do and what I not do Edward. How dare you? Besides I like dangerous things that give me smooth rides between my legs," my voice took on an amused tone at the end. It hid the hurt that I felt. He was still trying to make decisions for me, even when we had no relationship between us. He was still trying to tell me what to do, even after he knew that I was a grown woman.

His face had fallen when I told him that he wasn't my father and when I told him not to dictate me, but when I reached the last part of my sentence his jaw fell wide open and he froze. I guess, he never thought Isabella Swan had the capability to talk like that. I revved the bike. Students stared at me. I was probably the only teacher that came to school on a kick-ass bike.

"Wait, Bella, I didn't mean to sound like that. I just meant it's dangerous. I also wanted to say that there's another vampire here in Forks and it could be dangerous for you.." I cut him off. I knew all about this vampire who was in town and I didn't want to listen to any of his bullshit.

"Your point, there are hundreds of people here, why would it target me?" I asked. This vampire that he was talking about was a vegetarian. He knew that too, so why was he telling me to be careful?

"No, this vampire is a vegetarian. But control is a inconsistent thing. Your scent could easily attract it.." he sounded worried. What was wrong with him? I wanted to tell him to shut up. He didn't have to worry about me. Besides this vampire that he was talking about was me. There was no reason for him to worry.

"If this vampire is a vegetarian why would it target me? Stop worrying, and don't you dare stalk me Edward. You gave up that right up long ago. Besides I like danger," I said.

I was screaming on the inside. He cared enough to warn me about a vampire but he didn't care enough to not abandon me. I was feeling so confused. He opened his mouth to say something else, but I didn't want to hear it. I didn't give him a chance to say anything else, I started my bike and zoomed forward. I heard Emmett murmur a 'damn' under his breath.

I zoomed forward on the streets. I emptied my mind and concentrated on the speed. I could run much faster than this but I enjoyed the feeling of riding.

It took me about twenty minutes to reach home. Jake wasn't home, he had gone off for work but I knew he would want to know the details about how the day had gone by. I heard Masen and Ness waiting in the living room. Ness was tapping her fingers in impatience and Masen kept sighing.

I parked my bike in the garage, took off all my bike gear and walked slowly towards the living room. "Let's get this over with," I murmured.

I walked into the hallway and saw them looking at me. I cocked an eyebrow, and both of them started to talk simultaneously. Gushing over words. They were talking a mile a minute and even though I was a vampire I was having trouble trying to decode what they were saying. I waited for them to stop talking. They were talking so fast that it all sounded like Chinese. Ten minutes later they stopped talking and looked up expectantly at me. I rolled my eyes.

"Guys, I am going to talk about today only once, so let's wait for Jake to get here okay. He'll come back in the evening, and yes Ness before you ask, he's in my shield. Now I've had enough excitement for one day and I'm going to go to my bedroom and cry. If you need anything, try getting it done by yourself and only if it's absolutely necessary interrupt me," I said. I already could feel all the emotion bubbling up, trying to find a way out of me.

Masen and Ness walked forward and hugged me. Masen kissed my forehead and Ness kissed my cheek, "We love you mom" they whispered.

"love you too," I whispered. My voice broke at the end. My vision blurred, it felt like everything was underwater. I sniffled. Their grips on me tightened, and I felt Ness's tears fall on my shoulder. I broke free and kissed Ness on her forehead.

"Sweetheart, don't cry. Everything is going to be fine," I said. I couldn't bear to see tears in my children's eyes. Masen's eyes were watery too. They both gave me weak smiles and they nodded.

I used vampire speed to rush into the bedroom. I knelt at the foot of the bed and cried. Memories came rushing back to me, flashes of a life that never truly belonged to me-

_"My name is Edward Cullen, I didn't have the chance to introduce myself."_

_"Hello Bella, It's nice to finally meet you."_

_"I was standing right next to you Bella."_

_"I saved your life, I don't owe you anything."_

_"You are my life now." _ Lies.

_"I love you."_ Lies.

_"I can't live in a world where you don't exist." _Lies_._

_"Bella, darling we all love you." _Lies.

_"We're leaving."_

_"I don't want you."_

_" clean break."_

My whole relationship had been a lie. I had put all of my faith in the Cullens. I would have given my life up for them, but they had abandoned me in the blink of an eye, without even saying goodbye. I sobbed, until I heard Jake's car pull up in the drive way, I could hear Masen and Ness both in their respective rooms pacing the floor.

They had gotten the pacing thing from me. Every time that I was agitated I would start pacing.

Jake parked the car in the garage and then came bounding into the house. I left the room to go downstairs when I saw Ness run in vampire speed towards him. She threw her arms around Jacob and leaped onto him. They both grinned. I looked away from their display of affection and waited for them to be done with the PDA.

Fifteen minutes later Masen came down with his eyes covered. "Is it safe to see? Are they done with their everyday groping ritual?" Masen asked.

Ness scoffed at Masen and kicked him on his shin. Masen grunted. Jake looked at me. He put his hand under my chin and tilted my face upwards. He studied my face and said, "You've been crying."

"No shit Sherlock," I said.

Jake pursed his lips and dragged me to the couch. Masen and Ness followed. He put his arms around my shoulder in a comforting gesture, picked up a tissue and wiped the tears off of my face. My face was all blotchy.

"So what happened today?" He asked.

"Ya mom, what happened?" Ness asked me. I sighed.

"You didn't lose composure in front of them did you?" Jake asked. My eyes narrowed and I shook my head. I could control my feelings, and since I was a vampire, it was easier for me to keep my face composed.

"No, mom handled them like a total pro. She looked like she didn't care about them at all. It was pretty cool, I didn't know mom could act like that," Masen said.

"Okay, but what exactly happened?" Jake looked at me and asked. Curiosity and concern was etched on his face. I sighed and told them about everything that had happened. When I told them about Rosalie they all gasped. I told them about forgiving Jasper and they all nodded. I told them about my conversation with Edward and they all had disapproval for his behaviour on his face.

Jake suddenly smiled. I looked at him curiously. "This means he cares. I mean obviously he's an asshole but he still cares. If he didn't have any feelings for you, he wouldn't have said anything about the vampire here," Jake explained. Ness looked happy at the idea of a reconciliation between me and Edward, but Masen looked unsure.

"Why would he leave mom if he loved her, it doesn't make any sense. You guys should talk about all of this," Masen said.

"No, you don't understand, Edward wanted forgiveness, remember. That's why he told me about the vampire here. He feels guilty for causing me heartbreak and for dragging me into the vampire world. He hated himself for the James thing. He regrets ever having a relationship with me. He doesn't love me," I said. I felt so much of pain when I said this. It felt like someone was cutting up my chest with a chainsaw. I cringed.

"Mom," Masen said.

"What?" I asked.

"You're always pessimistic. You always view the world in this negative light. In every situation you wait for the other shoe to drop. Your always so cynical. Maybe there's more to all of this. Please don't lose hope. You heard him, he said he wasn't dating. He also said that he wasn't interested in any of the girls here. He had some kind of feelings for you, mom. He let you in his world. I don't like him very much because of everything that he did to you and the amount of pain that his leaving out you through. You try to hide your pain mom, but we all see it. I think you should take a chance, and see where this goes," Masen explained passionately.

I felt hurt at his statement. I knew I was cynical, life had made me like that. I couldn't trust people anymore after what had happened with the Cullens. Tears gathered in my eyes, "Life has made me cynical. Look at me, I fell in love with someone at the age of seventeen and that was it for me. He left me, his family who I thought was my family abandoned me, without even so much as a goodbye. They just left me. My father died, after which my mother died. My step-dad tried to commit suicide. There is a deranged vampire out there trying kill me. I have to mind each and every step of ours, so that the Volturi does not get wind of us. I cry everyday for a man who has never loved me. Who left me. The only good thing that has come out of my relationship with Edward is you both," I said through sobs.

I was afraid for my children. They saw everything through rose tinted shades. They saw life through such a positive light. When something bad would happen, when that other shoe would drop, they would lose their faith in life. I wanted them to be stronger. To expect something bad to happen so that when it did, they would be prepared for it.

Ness held my hand, "Mom, we know. But if we view life in such a negative way, we won't ever be happy. We'll always live in fear, waiting for the other shoe to drop. That's not how we should live," Ness said.

I didn't comment. I didn't want to fight. I felt so hopeless, like I was drowning in the grief and depression.

"Bella, do what you want to. I think Bella should wait for a while before thinking about all this. Clearly she isn't ready," Jake said. He was trying to make peace. I nodded.

Suddenly Masen grimaced, "Mom, I did something wrong," he said. He rubbed the back of his neck.

I raised my eyebrows and looked at him sternly, "What did you do?"

"Promise you won't be mad at me?" Masen said. Ness was grinning.

"That depends... is it my car. Did you do anything to my car?" I asked in a panicky voice. My eyes were as big as saucers and I started to hyperventilate at the thought of anything happening to my car. I suppose this was what a panic attack felt like.

"Calm mom, it's not the car. I swear to god you love the cars more than us. I broke two tiles in the bathroom, right under the shower," he murmured. Jake snickered and looked knowingly at Masen. Masen looked ashamed. I looked curiously between them.

"I'm not mad, but how'd you do that?" I asked. Masen's face turned red.

"I put one hand on the tiles there and applied pressure while..while..having a bath," he said.

"Obviously not a cold shower," Jake said. I quirked an eyebrow, and suddenly I got it. Oh god, eww.

"Oh crap, yuck. I am going to go buy some new tiles. Yuck, Yuck. This is too much. Blech. I can't believe this. I actually feel nauseous, can vampires feel nauseous?" I said disgusted. I quickly got up went to my room wore skin tight jeans and a light blue blouse. I checked out the tiles in Masen's washroom to see the colour, and I grimaced and cringed in disgust the whole time.

I entered the shop and as usual all men stopped doing whatever they were doing and looked at me. I rolled my eyes and picked up the tiles. I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings when I heard a gasp. I whirled around and saw Esme standing right behind me. Her hands were clasped over her mouth, and her eyes looked shocked.

Here, right in front of me stood somebody who had been a motherly figure to me. I had looked to her for guidance and had thought of her as my second mother. My mother wasn't really much of a mother to me and I had replaced her with Esme. But she had abandoned me too. I had felt the pain of losing a mother when she left me, and the pain of losing a mother never goes away. The wound of her leaving me was still raw, and seeing her here felt like someone was putting vinegar on my wound. The pain was excruciating. My arms went round my chest, trying to hold myself together. I couldn't cover up the pain and the anguish in my eyes. She gasped at what she saw in my eyes.

I didn't want her to see me vulnerable. I didn't want to put myself in a vulnerable position, so I shut my eyes and counted to ten hoping she would disappear. When I opened my eyes, my gaze was accusatory. She had left me, and the hurt that I felt made me want to lash out and hurt her too. Her facial expression changed.

"Bella," she whispered. She raised her hands to touch me but I backed away. I knew that if she touched me then I would break down, right in the middle of the shop, with people milling around me. Her expression filled with pain when I moved away.

Her eyes looked like they were full of love, but I wouldn't fall for it. She had told me that she had loved me like her daughter. What kind of mother had the ability to abandon her daughter. I would never be able to abandon my children.

I felt unwanted and abandoned. Like I wasn't good enough. I started to search for faults in myself trying to see why she couldn't see me as a daughter, where I had gone wrong.

When I realised what I was doing, I balked. I shouldn't have to blame myself for something that they did. I gave them my heart and they trampled on it. My stance changed. It became more hostile.

"Esme," I said curtly and nodded at her. I turned my back to her and walked away.

I felt her touch my arm. I turned around and said, "Don't touch me,"

She cringed away from the venom in my voice. "Bella, honey, please listen to me, please. I know you must have felt hurt, but it was for the best I didn't want to leave you really Bella.." She tripped over her words. Trying to get it all out. Her face was filled with desperation, she was pleading with me to understand her.

I closed my eyes, " I loved you like a mother loves a daughter Esme. I looked at you as my mother," I smiled slightly. I was so naive.

"Bella, I saw you as a daughter too," She said.

"Lies. A mother could never abandon her daughter. You left without even a goodbye. You abandoned me. You all abandoned me. I have two kids and I could never imagine leaving them. The idea of ever leaving them is abhorrent to me. I was never your daughter Esme, I was a pet, to experiment with, you all toyed with me," I said. I wanted to curl into a ground and cry, but I didn't. I didn't want them to see me weak.

"No sweetheart no, Edward wanted to leave, Bella I.." I broke her off.

"And you followed. You gave more importance to Edward. I could never be partial towards my children Esme." I turned around and left. I paid for my tile and exited the shop. I could see her standing in the same spot that I had left her in. Her shoulders were curved inwards and her head was down. She rubbed her hand over her face and a defeated look came across her face.

I walked back home. I thought about mundane things, so that I wouldn't think of the Cullens and break down crying on the streets. I thought about the classes that I was teaching and the coursework. I walked in the front door and gave Masen the tiles. He took them hurriedly and didn't look me in the eye.

"Something happened," Jake said. Ness looked up from the magazine that she was reading and cocked an eyebrow.

"How do you know something happened?" I asked.

"Just your face," Jake said.

"I ran into Esme at the furniture shop," I murmured.

"What happened?" Ness asked.

I told them what had happened and they all looked at me sympathetically. Jake rubbed my shoulders.

The phone suddenly rang. I picked the cordless up from the cradle and held it to my ear.

"Hello," I said.

"Hello, is this Ms. Swan?" someone asked from the other end of the phone.

"Yes, yes it is, who is this?" I asked.

"Hi, this is Hanna from the reception. You had waved at me today.." she trailed off.

"Oh of course, yes I remember you, what's wrong?" I asked her.

"Nothing's wrong, it's just that you've got two new students joining your class. They'll be getting here at the end of this week or the beginning of the next week," she said.

"Oh, can you give me their names, so that I can add it to the student roster?" I asked

"Sure, their names are Tanya Denali and Kate Denali."

* * *

**So, how was it. I was kind of in a hurry when I wrote this chapter. My sister had broken the keyboard and then I got fever.** **Please excuse any grammatical errors. I don't have a beta and don't know how to get one. Please PM me if you guys know how to get a Beta. Lots of new things in this chapter. The Denali clan is coming, and I have some great plans for Kate and Tanya. Links to the cars are on my profile. Please at least check out the Mercedes SLS AMG. It is drool-worthy, and almost as hot as Rpatz.**

**Please review. Until next time.**

**Lots of love,**

**XOXO**


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